I lost my dad three and a half months ago after he was diagnosed with terminal oesophageal cancer just over a year ago. I’m 22 and was a couple of days into my final year of uni when he got diagnosed. I went to uni 300 miles away, and ended up doing that year of it pretty much all online.
It’s taken me this long to even begin to process the last 14 months, it was a horrific decline and he suffered a lot. It feels so selfish to even say that I struggled with the journey when he went through so much, but I did. It felt like I was running up and down the country to keep my degree work afloat while spending every second that I could with him, and helping with chemo visits, medication etc. at home. I’ve been left with alot of anxiety mainly, and I’m absolutely devastated that he had to endure so much before he passed away. With my birthday and Christmas coming up, it feels like I’m trying to navigate the future without him whilst also processing the past and that’s been really difficult. Thankful that online spaces like this exist to just rant about it.
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