Losing my daughter 26 to RTC

My 2 daughter’s were hit by a speeding driver 6 years ago, my eldest daughter Sarah was killed and my pregnant daughter 24 was injured… for 2 years I campaigned as we were treated as the criminals… I have not coped with life for years, I have flashbacks, angry all the time I live in the year 2012 when my daughter was killed… I’ve just been diagnosed with complex PTSD… it’s has now been nearly a year and still care plan not started…
Fed up of fighting to get help to try to cope with each day…
Xx

Hi am so sorry to hear about your lovely daughter Sarah, you have been through so much we lost our daughter Dawn 17months ago and and life will never be the same again, so sorry to hear you have PTSD, are you seeing a councillor , I don’t blame you for being angry its such a long time to feel like that . Keep posting as we all know how you are feeling . With love Maddie xx

Hi Maddie, Thank you for your reply, I do see a counsellor for domestic abuse… but that is only in term time, my phychiatrist said I need to see a physchologist but a team meet and said I couldn’t… so I’ve got to wait again for their decision again… another 2-3 months…
After campaigning I had to put a wall up as I had to talk about the 2 girls that got hit, so now it doesn’t seem like it was my daughter’s but 2 girls I didn’t know…
I’m so sorry about your daughter Dawn, the pain is unbearable isn’t it, have you got any help and support?

Love Avril xx

Hi Avril, I am glad that you are getting some sort of help ,and that it might help you even if its only to give you some sort of reliefe from the grieving. Yes I had a counsellor straight away when Dawn passed and she stopped seeing me 2 months ago , as she thought I was coping much better, , but little did she know I was putting on a front , and I have got much worse, I didn’t find that she helped all she could say time will heal , which that is what everyone comes up with. Take care and keep posting . love Maddie

How tragic. I cant imagine how angry and distressed you must be feeling. It’s just too horrible to contemplate. I can only say that if you wasn’t angry then it would mean you didn’t care so I see that as quite a normal reaction.
I lost my daughter a little over three months ago and not long after I completely destroyed my garden in a moment of madness. I think that was down to the fact that I had just finished helping my daughter do her garden in her new home just before she died. I’ve tidied mine up a bit since but I cant find the motivation to do any work on it. It just brings back those happy memories and seeing her smiling face and it brings home the fact that I’ll never share that with her again.
Not so long ago I nearly split with my partner and walked out one night. I woke up without any real recollection of the day before and I had packed my bags in the car… only there wasn’t any items of clothing or anything practical…just gardening tools!
I am angry again now but that’s because you are not getting the help you clearly need after suffering such a tragic loss. As hard as it sounds you need to keep going because your younger daughter needs you as well and I am sure your eldest daughter would want you to do that.

Hi Maddie, I know counselling doesn’t really help, I did the same as you where i pretended I was Okay, sometimes I think it’s because it’s too painful to go there and also the counsellor isn’t rigjt for us…
I think all the counselling in the world isn’t going to help us, how can it we’ve lost the most precious thing our baby, no matter what age they are always our babies…
My counsellor lost her child, which makes me feel there’s a connection of pain we share, it took her 27 yrs to be able to keep her pain close to her but be able to live again… It’s learning to cope with each day and keeping our baby close to our hearts … but trying to find a way to do that is so hard xx

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