Losing my daughter to domestic violence

I lost my beautiful princess in June 2019 at the age of 27, she was taken from me my by her coercive, narcissistic, controlling, abusive, evil, cowardly ex partner, who she had been with for 10yrs and had 2 children with. At the time of her murder they were 4 and 7 and in the house at the time. He had broken in while my daughter and grandchildren were at my parents and i was there too. He laid in wait till they got back, went to bed, then at 2am he brutally and horrifically stabbed my daughter 9 times while she slept, i knew this from the post mortem as she had no defensive wounds on her hands or arms. He then went to my granddaughters room, as she had woken and heard noises from here mums room, and said he loved her and was going. He then phoned my 82 year old dad at 2am telling him he had killed his granddaughter and left the front door unlocked. My dad phoned me, i rushed up and got there before the police to find my beautiful princess lay motionless, covered in blood in bed,.the police then arrived and helped me off the premises. Later they told me she had passed away and that he was found in her garage and rushed to hospital where he was on a life support machine for 2 days before they turned it off, his thoughtless, heartless, insensitive and selfish family, who were round his bedside, had the audacity to ask if i could take the children to the hospital to say goodbye to their dad before the life support machine was turned off. What selfish people. I told them how dare they ask that when my daughter, their mum, didn’t get to have any goodbyes from her children.
Since that horrific day i found out from the DHR that he had previous convictions for violence and demeaning women as well as being on probation and not fully attending it but never being reported and re arrested and being thrown out of anger management therapy for unnecessary, uncalled for, degrading and sexual remarks about women, but again this was never reported back to the police.
I would love to be able to divulge so much more of GMP failings over the 10yrs of abuse my daughter went through but i have a law suit out on them but the truth will come out eventually and show how my daughter and so many other victims were let down, ignored, failed, not believed and left to suffer at the hands of their evil, cowardly, bullying abusers. My aim is to keep on fighting to get the truth for my daughter and in her memory and to make sure the recommendations for GMP in the DHR are carried out as i don’t want to see any more innocent victims and their families have to go through what me and my family went through and are still going through.

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Hello DaveT69,

I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to your beautiful daughter, I can hear how devastated you are and how rightfully angry you feel. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through. Many of our members, like you, are also supporting grandchildren through the loss of their parent.

SAMM National offer support services for bereavement after murder and manslaughter. You can find their helpline, or become a member to access their peer support services, here > https://samm.org.uk/

I really hope you find our community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please do keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Hazel

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Im so sorry to read this, I cannot imagine the pain of losing your daughter in such a horrific way, May she now get the peace she so obviously deserved. Good luck with your lawsuit and thank you for trying to help anyone else going through the same, I salute you! and to find the strength while grieving is amazing, well done xx

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What a strong, brave post Dave. Your heartbreak must be devastating. Utterly tragic to lose your beautiful daughter like this.
I wish you well with your lawsuit and I wish you strength to deal with your loss under such horrific circumstances. I hope you, your father & grandchildren have the support you need.
Take care x

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I am so sorry to hear about the hell you and your daughter and grandkids have been through. That you are managing to survive and even challenge the system shows what great love and strength you have. I send you my respect and thoughts. May you find some rest xxx

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Terrible terrible thing you are living with. My heart goes out to you. Domestic abuse is a shocking thing and there’s so much of it. I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our younger daughter in July 2019. It still hurts but hers was through illness. I can’t even imagine what you have gone through and are still going through.

Much love, Kate x

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