I lost my beautiful 24 year old daughter 9 weeks ago to a rare form of ovarian cancer.we knew this day was going to happen one day but it happened all to quick in the end.i feel utterly heartbroken,angry ,and guilty.i have 4 other daughters who are all feeling the same.my husband is amazing but he is also heartbroken.i feel lilke i dont deserve to look at any kind of future and cant even imagine a future without her being in it.im scared .i havent been back to work yet and i havent been out on my own.i feel too scared to go out incase i ramdonly break down or see someone or see somthing that makes me think about her.i also feel so selfish that i get to live .
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Im so sorry for your loss. I cant even imagine what that must feel like. I have 2 daughters myself. I dont think i could get through that experience without getting professional help. I found this forum because my sister died and everyone is grieving and in emotional pain. This isnt going to be an easy process for any of us but it has helped me already just to be able to understand and see that others are feeling the same way regardless of who they lost or the circumstances. Im going to read more here and probably go to see a counselor. Make sure you take care of yourself and get the help you need.
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Dear CLS, words are not enough … but I am so sorry. I lost my wonderful 20 year old daughter in August … an accident. I said to my husband last night ‘how do we do this’… he replied ‘we are doing it, we get up every day, thats all we can do for now’. I am tormented by flashbacks - most imagined as I was not there, she was abroad on holiday - but revert with such clarity to when we received the call. torture. like you I am plagued with such guilt - how can I be here when she is not. How can everyone still be living a normal life when she is not. I feel guilt over everything and anything… from washing my hair to buying a moisturiser… . I felt such fear in the first few months ( I couldn’t stand to be alone or without my husband…which is definitely not the old me) - it does lessen - but still cannot go into local shops where she went all the time. still not back at work, not sure if I will if we can manage. I guess its just doing every day. the only peace we get is when we drive out to a country park and walk and walk. - anything to fill hours before I can go to bed. Do you have supportive friends - I have found that few people understand, how can they - and say the wrong things. I am going to a bereaved parents support group - they only place where I feel understood. feel free to message me.sending love x
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