Losing my daughter

Losing a child
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.my daughter karen passed away on 10 th april with pneumonia carbom dioxide karen was 46 yrs old she also was in middle stages of fronto temple lobo dementia she had severe copd karen passed away after 6 day’s in hospital i was with her all the time her last words 48 hrs before she passed awsy peacefully was love you mum i have 4 daughters my 3rd daughter Donna age 7 passed away in oct 1991 through a tragic accident ive lost my 2 beautiful daughters my other 2 daughters are a good support to me karen has 2 kids jordan 25 emma 22 theyr trying to cope with this to im to exhausted to help them

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Hello @Carolinamoon,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling about the loss of your daughter. I’m so sorry to hear about Karen. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

You might also want to look at the guide to Losing a child Sue Ryder Grief Guide

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

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Carolinamoon - my sincere condolences, we lost our daughter 6 months ago - but to lose two daughters must feel unbearable. My heart goes out to you - in my darkest days I ask my beloved daughter how to cope without her and I always see her beautiful smile saying you must be strong and live on for all those who love in this world and the next. Thinking of you xx
you - the living still need us probably more than ever now

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Hi Navajo,

What beautiful words x
Deborah

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Its now 5 half weeks since karen passed away rest of family although still sad theyr getting on with there lives im not im depressed still exhausted miss karen so much

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5 weeks is so little time - you must still be in shock. When I felt so low and didn’t want to get out of bed - My friend (who is a therapist) gave me some good advice - she asked me to set myself one simple goal everyday. Even if its a reminder to get up at certain time or choose stay in bed but then go for walk -eat something nutritious - brush hair & teeth - Even just one of these activities a day is good - and she would text and ask Have you achieved your goal today?
Over the months I started setting more goals - harder but achievable, like meet someone for a coffee go out cinema etc. socialising was the biggest challenge. But I set my mind to think of it as a distraction from grieving - a breathing space. I set a time limit - 1/2 -1 hr tops. People don’t always realise how exhausting it is to concentrate and talk to them when your brain is mush.
This is grief walking the toughest road and everyone will have to travel it sometime, but we all hope it will never be as a parent. So, from one mum to another a heartfelt plea to you - please try to look after your body and in time your mind will follow.
This grief feels like a long hard labour and there is no way around we just have to get through it. We are sadly not alone and this forum is a comfort to reach out when we need support xx

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Thanks for replying il try to set up a goal later cant go out on my own yet no confidence doesnt help as i had a stroke in February still no got much feeling back on my right side i used to be strong willed not anymore i did phone pysio to start back i was doing ok at pysio havent been back for 6 weeks thats my 1st goal back to pysio on 9th june karen had middle stages of fronto lobo dementia was in a nursing home last 3 years she had 1 great carer who i keep in touch with rest of staff didnt look after her properly karen was so dependent on me i took her out twice a week phoned facetimed few times a day after stroke 1st few weeks carer brought karen to mine i lost my 3rd daughter Donna in 1991 ahe was 7 death was caused by a tragic accident i didnt cope then either cause i had 3 other kids i had to get in with it now feel no 1 depends on me thanks for advice glad I’ve came on this group take care