I lost my daughter to breast Cancer in October, so it is very raw, it has been a very difficult 18months as she wanted to treat the cancer with natural therapies, which where going really well until she was introduced to what I call a cult,. They advised her not to have surgery as this would explode the cancer and spread to the rest of her body, she had severe headaches and they convinced her that she had COVID Head. She was so convinced that she had this that we could not discuss anything regarding this,when in fact she had secondary metastasis to the brain, it has been such a deep pain, I feel I will not recover from the grief
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Sending you a virtual hug from here @Kaz3
I’m really sorry to hear about all you’ve been through, this sounds incredibly difficult for you and I’m sorry to hear that your daughter passed away. It’s understandable to be feeling that this is very raw, loosing someone so close and in those circumstances is just so hard.
Are you receiving much support at the moment from any friends, family or support services?
Everyone on this community so lovely and supportive so please do keep reaching out anytime you need someone to talk to. We’re here for you 
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Thank you, I have support, but I do not think they realise how much I am hurting, it’s also difficult as I can be a very closed person
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You’re welcome @Kaz3 
It sounds really hard feeling that those in your support network don’t realise how much you’re hurting. It can be difficult to express how we’re feeling, you’re not alone in feeling this way.
Can you tell me more about the support you have at the moment?
I was wondering if you find it easier to write out how you’re feeling? Writing a letter can be helpful for some people as a way to let people around them know how they are feeling. Perhaps this might be something you would find helpful too.
Take lots of care
I have my husband who is great for a reassuring hug, but he does not talk about it, my younger daughter has just had a baby so I don’t want to burden her as she is also grieving her loss , very difficult times, I have good and bad days the bad days are overwhelming at time, but I kick myself in to a positive mood most times
I lost my daughter in August to breast cancer. We tried everything - conventional and non conventional - but nothing worked. Part of me died with her and I will never mend. I feel your pain, we all do, and sometimes sharing how you feel with others in the same situation is often helpful.