I lost my Daughter to suicide 18months ago, she was only 34. I have really been struggling but yesterday (15th March) I completely lost it, I had a total breakdown, I was at work and it all got too much for me…Ive now been signed off work with Depression and Anxiety…I have found that as time goes by my feelings are getting worse, it was 18months on Sunday 14th March which was also Mothers Day, the day was awful, I just wanted to curl up and shut the world out…Its all got too much and I’m broken and just want this pain to go away… I miss her so much and I’m finding everything hard. I’ve no interest in anything, everything is an effort, I’m just so tired and I’ve just about had enough of everything…
Linda12. I’m so sad to read of your great loss and how you are still suffering. I really feel for you and wish I could find the words that would comfort you. It just seems that things get worse with time, and I just hope the day comes when what we are all going through will be easier to cope with in time.
You and your lovely daughter will be in my prayers.
Stay strong and please look after yourself.
The pain you feel must at times be unbearable. It sounds like this weekend it all became too much. Is it a relief that you have been signed off from work, or does that make things harder for you?
18 months must still feel like yesterday to you. Have you had any help or support? Have you been in touch with other mothers who have lost a child to suicide? I have come across quite a few posts on this site from mothers in similar situation. If you look at the recent posts, there is a post from @Jacky33 whose son took his own life 17 months ago.
As well as posting here, there is an organisation called Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide, that offers a helpline, local support groups and online support: https://uksobs.org/
I hope that you too will find the support that you need.