So, here I am 20 months on from losing my girl
She would have been 40 in November, that is stressing me already, but, 2 wks later, my partners girl is also 40
There will be a family gathering, I’m expected to attend
I know it’s not her fault my girl died, I just can’t control my feelings of I suppose, resent!!!
I’m really not like this and I don’t understand why I feel like this?
Hello @Birchwood ,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’m just giving your thread a gentle, “bump” for you - hopefully someone will have some thoughts to share.
Take good care,
Alex
Im so sorry, this must be awful for you. Would it be possible for you to go for just a short while to the party but then be able to leave if you need to? I’m sure people will understand it’s going to be very hard for you. I think your feelings are completely natural, it doesn’t make you bad at all. Of course you will think why your daughter can’t be there and having a party. It’s part of your deep love for her. I am so sorry and sending hugs and good wishes.
Birchwood - We went to our nephews wedding last week, 17 months after losing our daughter. I was so worried beforehand about going, as I find being around ‘happy families’ who don’t live with the grief we suffer, very difficult. I understand the feelings of grief that make it hard to be happy or joyful for others. I went because I wanted our nephew to know that we love him and wish him well, but I did get very upset. I went a walk and sat in our car, totally overcome with emotions and crying ‘why was my daughter denied all of this?’ As Magsclar said, have yourself an escape plan - just to give yourself some time out. People will understand, and if they don’t - well that’s their problem. I hope you find some peace - sending love and support.
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My daughter Caren passed away 12 weeks ago on a Fri, the following Wednesday my sister from Australia had organised a get together for the whole family which was a private event.
Reluctantly I went as this might have been the last time I saw my sister because of how far Australia is, I was among family and they all understood if I had to leave. I felt guilty for being there and it was only my daughter on my mind the whole time.
My sister returned to Australia after staying on for Caren’s funeral, she unfortunately had a seizure and is now undergoing chemo treatment for brain tumours. Now looking back I am glad I went to my sister’s get together, I don’t know how I managed but I guess I just went through the motions.
Us of all people never know what is around the corner so even in these dark difficult times we must try to make an effort. Hope that helps but you must go with your heart, people will understand if you choose not to go.
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How awful for you. No, we never know in life. I’m so sorry you have had to face this. All good wishes for your sister. X
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Thank you, it’s so hard. I can’t get my head round not seeing my beautiful daughter again. I just wish her to come home, just to walk through the door, have a cuppa with me, to receive a message from her or go for a walk with her. I ask why, why did this have to happen. It’s so unbelievable. I miss her so much. It’s going to be so hard to live without her. 
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Sending you so much love and good wishes 
. I am so sorry xxx
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This expresses exactly how I’m feeling 16 weeks after losing my daughter and only child.
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Sending everyone on here very best wishes and sincerest sympathies.
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We said our final farewell yesterday to our beautiful Caren. People we know and also people we don’t know have been shocked that our beautiful daughter passed away, she was truly an attractive person inside and out. It’s been 14weeks since our daughter’s passing, but we were so consumed with her loss, deciding what to do with her ashes has been a final decision we could not make lightly. We laid her to rest at the cemetery yesterday. Its so final and now we have the awful time of continuing our grieving for Caren, our beautiful Caren💔
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Oh bless you. I hope you get comfort from someone you are really close to. Please take care. I am sending huge hugs to you
Bless her and all your memories of your loved ones
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I actually find it helpful to write my feeling down. I write a memoirs book of exactly how I feel, usually I write when I am distraught, it gives me comfort in an odd way. Just a thought for you to do , it might help.
There are no words, we are here together as parents in pain from losing a child before us. There’s no sense to it. How do we survive? Sorry you are here too x
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I ask my husband the same question and his answer is “like we have done since our daughter passed away” One day at a time, I suppose is what we have to do. Our lives will never be the same again but we will carry on for the sake of our loved ones and ourselves. Big hugs sent to all who have lost a child 
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So, next Saturday is my girls 40th birthday, no party, no celebration
22 months since she left us, the same time since her little girl was taken, by a cruel person
Life just seems to get any easier!!!
My girl was mine, before she was anyone else’s, I know, it’s yesterday’s news to others but, to me, the pain will never leave me
It’s so hard when another person is involved. My daughter’s partner has blamed me for her passing.
We just had a quiet time with close family on her birthday, we each lit candles and had a quiet toast of Tequilla Rose, her favourite shot in her honour. How can we celebrate when they are not here!
I have a bottle of that in my shed, along with a bottle of vodka, both taken from my girls house, never to be touched, to remind me of how she died
Tis birthday is going to be so hard, not being allowed contact with my baby girls baby girl will make it even harder to bare
Aww bless you. One day your granddaughter will come back to you it’s so hard to get our mind around the why’s and what if’s. Why is life so cruel. We are here together, we all have lost out child in different ways. But our heartache is the same
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