This is a new first for me here but felt I need to put it down on a page. I lost my Father 2 days ago. He had been unwell for many months and he was in constant pain and I was taking him to appointments but not getting anywhere fast. I was the only one who could visit him but between looking after my son and juggling work it never felt like I gave him enough time. He ultimately took his own life and I found him and cut him down but it was too late. I have never been so heart broken and wish I could have saved him. I don’t think I will ever come to terms with his loss.
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Hello @Mrak , I lost my Dad too 7 weeks ago, so I know the pain you are feeling .
Regarding the guilt you are feeling - please do not blame your self . You were doing your best. This group is very supportive and I know someone will say more to help you . But please do not blame your self for this . Dealing with losing your Dad is enough to deal with without that . Message me anytime , you aren’t on your own X
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I am so sorry you are going through this…as i am sorry we are all here for a similar reason. I lost my dad in June 2022. I lost my mom in June 2021. Both 74 and 72. I was a daddy’s little girl for sure though. My parents divorced when i was 5, and my dad and I were just alike. He was and still is my hero! I still have a good cry almost every day, but i promise time helps. I look forward to a day with no tears. Go easy on yourself, remember you did the best you could. Your dad loved you very much, and was grateful for everything you did for him. I told myself that over and over again until it sunk in, especially in the beginning. Get plenty of rest, and try and eat healthy too. This forum has been a huge help to me. Talking with people who experienced the same trauma is priceless! Everyone on here is so sympathetic and wonderful! Message me if you need anything!
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Hi Mark,
Am so sorry about your dad. My heart goes out to you.
Please please do not feel guilty about what happened because you did your best and everything you could have done.Guilt us a horrible reaction in the grief process.My mum passed 9mths ago and I still beat myself up about certain things despite people telling me not to.Also it seems to be the same pattern on here with many other people.Its just one of many emotions you go through.Right now is the raw time when you are in complete shock.Dobyou have anyone to help you sort things out?
Try to look after yourself.Take time off work ,eat and rest as much as you can . You need to be strong to cope with everything so put your own wellbeing first now.
Keep posting on here as you are not alone at all.Everyone on here has experienced loss and know what you are going through as far as grief is concerned.There will also be people who have experienced loss through suicide so I am sure they will reach out to you soon
One day at a time and take baby steps
Thinking of you
Deborah x
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Thank you for you replies and I am sorry for anyone has suffered their losses it’s so painful. Most of my family are living a distance away from me. I have my son at weekends who is the light of my life so I have to be there for him but it’s hard being in the house on my own when he isn’t here. I just don’t know what to do to remove the image of finding my dad like that from my head every time I try to sleep. It’s no longer a home when I dread walking into it but finances make it hard to move. I’m hoping the funeral will give some closure but I never imagined it would be so hard 
I am sorry for your loss it’s such a horrible thing for anyone to endure. I lost my dad week and I can’t imagine my life now without him. He was unwell and in pain for many months due to cancer and he took his own life in the end and I feel so much guilt for not being able to help him more.
My family are the only thing keeping me going and giving me some comfort. I hope you have loved ones around you who can do the same. My best wishes go out to you and your family.
I so sorry to hear about your father, losing a parent is so hard alone let alone carrying all that guilt. Try to remember that you did all you could and that’s all that anyone can ask of you. Keep posting on here as sharing your feelings is so important with the grief process and you are not alone.
sending love xx
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