Losing my girl

Hello. I lost my beautiful 25 year old daughter at end January 2021. She had suffered with mental health issues for a long time and we tried desperately to get her help which was very lacking. She would have periods of self medicating with drugs to just stop the noise in her head. The funeral is next week. I am beyond heart broken at losing my baby and best friend. Its hard to see any reason to go on

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I can’t even imagine the pain you are going through
There is not enough done for mental health is is no less serious than other illnesses
The pain of loosing my husband of 43 years 29th November 2020 was indescribable he broke his leg caught COVID-19 in hospital and did 24 days later
I thought this was painful but the loss of a child I can’t possible imagine what your going though
My heart go’s out to you xxx

Hi thank you for your reply. Im so sorry for your loss. Im finding all the grief and sadness overwhelming and wonder how we all can carry on. I start to panic when I think of Thursday. How to get through the funeral. Just so much hurt everywhere x

Hi Lin, I’m so sorry you are on this painful journey to. My heat goes out to you. I lost my beautiful son 2 years ago at 27 and the pain is awful. You will get through the funeral I promise. I looked on it as the last thing I could do for my son. I asked him that morning to give me strength and I felt a calmness come over me. As to the future don’t look any further than 24 hours. One day at a time. I still ask myself every morning how am I going to get through the day. But I do. I find walking helpful and in that first year I got books on grieving. They helped me a lot. Just to try to make sense of what was happening to me. And use this site to talk to others who understand. Someone will always reply. It’s the hardest loss of all to carry and you will need help and support. Message anytime. And I will keep you in my thoughts this week :rose:

Thank you for your reply. It helps to speak with others who know how it feels. I feel so lost without her as she was my best friend and now there’s just this great big gap. My partner suffered a brain bleed just as this happened and can’t really understand what is going on so I feel I have no one to talk to about the pain I feel xx

I know, it’s so painful. Our grief is for ourselves, for our loss. But also for our child and what they have lost. And for the future they should have had. My son loved life and had so much to do and enjoy. My heart breaks that he won’t experience children of his own or continue the traveling he loved. I don’t have a partner so I rattle around the house alone now although I got myself a lovely dog for company. Life can be very bruttle to some people and others seem to sail through it. The very raw pain you feel now will get less with time. And there will be days you won’t cry. The body is only capable of so much grief. As we get back to some sort of ‘normal’ there will be groups again to support parents who have lost children. I found them Helpful. a

Hi Lin, I am so sorry you are having to go through the loss of your daughter. I too lost my daughter 3 years ago. She took her own life. In the early days I honestly thought ‘I can’t survive this … I don’t want to survive this’. But here I am still.
I will be thinking of you on Thursday and as Orchard has said, you will find the strength to do this for your beautiful girl.
This is the worst of times but take baby steps and you will come through. Many of us here have very sadly lost children and will be here for you and to help you along.
Much love to you xxx

Thank you for your reply. Im sorry for the loss of your daughter. The future seems bleak and I only find the reason to go on is my son. Thank you for thinking of me and understanding my pain x

Your son is worth living for just as my other children are. Take care xxx

Hi Lin,

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. I think you could really do with some support and I’m glad you’ve been able to receive some help on here already. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area. Please be aware that GPs and support services are not currently offering face-to-face appointments, but will usually be offering telephone or online alternatives.

You deserve care and support so please, Lin, get in touch with one of these services.

Take care,

Michelle

Hello Michelle
Thank you for messaging me. I will look at getting some help/counselling. I appreciate your advice.
Lins