Losing my grandad


In October 2020 I lost my grandad. He had a aortic aneurism. It was a sudden death.
My grandad was everything to me. Being the oldest grandchild we had a very special bond. He would help me with anything from buying my first car to helping me fix it. He was a very funny man and loved jokes so all my thoughts of him are happy and laughing.
Everyday I think of him but lately the evenings have become really difficult. I find myself going to sleep crying and now and again I have this wave of anxiety/emotion of complete loss.
I also feel so angry about his death. With all the restrictions in place I feel like iv been cheated out of spending time with him. No hugging, no kissing hello and good bye.
And now my nan who suffer swith MS went into hospital 6 weeks ago for an emergency operation and caught COVID in their. We have now been told that she’s taken a turn for the worse and probably won’t get better and to prepare ourselves. Shes been on her own for 6 whole weeks and lost her husband of 60 years. I just feel so angry and frustrated and emotional.