I lost my grandad to cancer in November ‘23. We lived together. I cared for him for years by myself . His 2 children never came to see him, even when he had cancer. He died at home as I promised him that I wouldn’t let anyone take him away. He was 93 yrs old. It’s been so exhausting and overwhelming. Friends thinks I’m strong. But I’m in despair . I put on a brave face. But I’m in this house on my own and the loneliness is killing me. It’s been 3 months since he passed away . I have friends that I have the odd phone call with but I can’t tell them how pathetic I am. I barely see them. I’m so tired. Life will never be the same. I just can’t believe it and I don’t know what to do now. I’m scared of my future. I’m scared that I’ll never be happy again.
Just wanted to comment and offer my sympathy. I lived with my dad and am sitting alone in an empty house full of memories too. It’s a ghastly thing and I don’t have good advice, I’m afraid, as I’m still struggling, overwhelmed by the pain, but I understand and others here will as well. And you are not pathetic, you have suffered a terrible loss and you’re allowed to feel the way you feel. Sending hugs. 
Thank you Ulma. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through similar pain as me with your dad passing away. Life can be hard for us. How long has he been gone? Sending bigs hug to you too❤️
Thanks! It was before Christmas, so it’s just been a few months for me too. I don’t know if its better or worse to have all his things all around me, some being our things also as we shared the house for years. Everything is a trigger and everything hurts. Do you have any siblings to support you? I have a brother, but I can’t talk to him about my grief.
It must’ve been a hard Christmas for you . It’s not been very long for you at all has it. I felt numb and in shock at Christmas. It’s a shame that you can’t talk to your brother about your grief. I don’t have any siblings. I rang the Samaritans today though and released more tears,
Do you have friends that you can confide in?
Christmas and New Year was just a painful blur. Don’t know how I got through it. 
No, not really. That’s why this place has been so helpful. At least here people understand and you can talk about your grief. Helplines have been my go to for when it’s really bad as well.
Yes this forum his so helpful. I thought I was the only one feeling this bad. Let’s hope we can get better sooner rather than later. 
If you want to chat, you can always PM me.