Nearly 13 years ago i lost my grandad. He was daiagnosed with lung cancer in November 2011 and was told it was a slow growing cancer. Sadly it meant his lungs were filling with fluid which he had to go into hospital to be drained which turned his slow growing cancer to aggressive. Myself, sister and mum took on the role as his carer as he wish was that he didnt want to go into hospital he wanted to die at home. I dont remember too much of january 2012- april 2012 as i have blocked most of it out. However the last 48 hours of his life i can remember it as if it was yesterday. I remember him being hooked up to a morphine driver and the house being full. At 8pm on the saturday night half the family went home leavjng myself, sister, mum and uncle. We had a chinese takeaway. In the same room as my grandad. At 1am we decided that we would all stand at the bottom of his bed with a little sherry and raised a glass to him. We were surprised when he rolled his head towards us opened his eyes gave a little smile and went back off to sleep.
We didnt think he would survive the night as he had the death rattle. We all slept in the same room as my grandad. Myself nearest to his bed my sister next to me then my mum on the floor with a duvet and my uncle on the sofa.
He was still with us on sunday and again the house was full of family. By 6pm everyone left apart from myself, my mum and sister. My grandad’s breathing changed and was getting shallower. I went over to his bedside and sat and held his hand within 10 seconds of doing this he took his last breath whilst i was still holding his hand. My mum and sister clung to each other and cried and my enitre body just down like i was in a state of shock. Still to this day it hasnt lifted. But when my grandad passed away it was the rock that held all the family together. Some family members showed their true colours afterwards and it split the family apart. I was trying to be the strong one of the family helping my mum and sister and having my nephew who was just over 1 year was a great distraction and kept things entertaining when we were going through his things. Whilst it has been newrly 13 years since his passing its almost like i still cant come to terms with his passing as i was his first grandchild and we were both very close. I still miss hearing his voice.
Hello @KellyB85,
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your grandad that brings you here. There is no timeline for grieving and I’m glad you have reached out.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You might also find our coping with the loss of a grandparent page helpful to read.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Seaneen