On the 15th of June my world came crashing down when i lost my grandad, he was 95yrs old, he was my hero i looked up to him, he was like a dad to me, we spent lots of time together, i saw him nearly every week or spoke on the phone, i am now at a loss, my heart feels like its shattered into million pieces, 0n the Monday 21st July we said goodbye and he was laid to rest, but then on the Friday it all hit me, i had a big panic attack and could not get out the house, and then i just cried, i couldn’t stop. and now i just don’t know where to start, i have family but they are going through it all themselves, it doesn’t matter what i am doing the tears just come, i feel so many emotions at the moment, guilty that even though i was at my grandads side every day while he was in hospital for 2 weeks, that i chose to go to go to work the day before he died, and i had that call at 07:30 the next morning to say he had passed,(i was going to see him that day)
i know that he has gone but i am finding it hard to accept this, i watch videos of us when we done our silly dancing so i can hear his voice, i cant picture his face i have to look at photos.
Hello @theresa13,
Thank you for so bravely sharing this with the community. I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather. Your loss is so very recent so please do be gentle with yourself.
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Many of our members have experienced the death of their grandparent and will understand some of what you’re going through. I’m not sure if you’ve seen our Losing a grandparent category. But there you will find lots of conversations from other members who are coping with their grief. You may find some comfort in knowing you are not alone.
You may also find these Sue Ryder resources helpful right now.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support too. Keep reaching out and take care 
Seaneen
Hi i lost my grandfather in 2017. I had a conversation with him on 24th September and he was gone the day. My grandmother found him lying on the bedroom floor unresponsive and cold.