Losing my Grandma

Hi,

I lost my Grandma last Monday, she had dementia and was very sick but when you got ill she always got better, last Monday she didn’t… She died and what made it worse I was away at a wedding so I wasn’t there to even say goodbye. I’ve not lost anyone before and I can’t explain how much it hurts knowing I won’t get to see her again. I have never felt a loss/pain like this before and I don’t have the words to even describe how I’m feeling another than numb. I’m trying to be strong for my mom and uncle as it’s their mom and they’re struggling but I feel so lost. I just miss her so much and I’m not sure what to do with myself.

Just reaching out to anyone else who might be struggling too and hopefully we can all help a little.

Thanks!

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I’m sorry to hear about your loss. My grandma died last December and I too found her death really painful. It’s a special relationship and understandably when it ends causes lots of sadness. Be kind to yourself, accept all of your emotions as normal and natural and show yourself the compassion and care which you are giving your mum and uncle. Take care.

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Hello Eevee,

I’m sorry to hear of the death of your grandma. My condolences to you and your family. As you have not experienced such pain before you must be finding it hard to know how to handle it, whether what you are feeling is ‘normal’ and how long it will last. None of us do really if the truth be told. Each death we experience is different. The only thing I can tell you is that there is no right or wrong in our grief. We can only deal with it in a way that is unique to ourselves and the circumstances. Your mum and uncle will also deal with it in their own ways. Don’t be afraid of showing how you feel. Don’t be afraid to talk about your grandma when you remember something about her. The numbness you currently feel is your mind’s way of protecting you while you start to sort out your feelings. The numbness will pass and in time you will start to adjust, but there is no timescale. Your grandma will always be in your memories. I frequently find myself talking to my loved ones who have died and imagine their response. My grief has grown around their memory and they are now part of me and who I am. I hope you find some comfort in time and that you, your mum and uncle can support each other on your grief journeys. Take care and be gentle with yourself.

Sorry to hear about your grandma, I lost my nan in June she had dementia too & we didn’t get to the hospital in time before she passed :frowning: Im finding it hard to cope too I didn’t think this day would come this soon & never this way , I get really teary every time I see her picture or think of her & even had a full blown cry at the job centre the other day I had no control over it I just feel hopeless , no interest in doing anything & really missing my nan it just doesn’t feel real or right that she’s gone :frowning:

I lost my grandma in 97 due to cancer she died in hospital with me holding her hand my mum nipped to the hospital shop and my grandma died with me at her side I said mum mamas gone she collapsed in tears I said I told her to let go she was suffering

Sorry to hear the loss of your grandma,
Least she didn’t die alone & had her lovely grandchild by her side

Hi Eevee,

I’m so sorry for the loss of your lovely Grandma. My Gran passed away in January this year and it’s been (being) the worst time of my life. It was also the first time I’d lost someone, and we were so close. It’s no wonder you feel lost right now. Like others have said, what you’re feeling is totally understandable, and you should take time to look after and be kind to yourself.

Thinking of you and your family :yellow_heart: xx