I lost my granny yesterday. I don’t have a great relationship with anyone else in my family apart from her. She’s been a pillar of support throughout my entire life - and in a way both of my parental figures in one person.
She battled leukaemia for years, I always thought that would be how she would pass. Unfortunately she passed in a way that was very sudden and unrelated. They managed to keep her on a ventilator until I could get to the hospital to say goodbye. I’m so grateful I could say what I needed to, to her, I found myself comforting her even though she was unresponsive. The nurses said there was a good chance she could still hear me. I really really hope that is true.
I feel lost and disassociated, I’ve never cried so much in my life. I feel some people view losing a grandparent as very normal and not as big a deal as losing a parent, but I feel immense grief that I’m scared to express. I don’t know who I’m going to talk to anymore. I’m going to miss her every single minute of every day.
1 Like
Hello @Diplodocus,
Thank you for having the courage to share this with the community. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your granny yesterday.
It sounds like she was a really important part of your life, and a pillar of support for you. It’s completely understandable to be feeling lost and disassociated, and I can hear how much you miss her. I want to reassure you that losing a grandparent can be just as significant as the loss of any other important person, and your grief is valid.
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Many of our members have experienced the death of their grandparent and will understand some of what you’re going through. I’m not sure if you’ve had a look through our Losing a grandparent category. But there you will find lots of conversations from other members who are coping with their grief. You may find some comfort in knowing you are not alone.
You may also find these Sue Ryder resources helpful right now.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support too. Keep reaching out and take care 
Harriet