I am a widow at 34 with a 3 and 5 year old. It all feels so unfair that my friends get to live into their old age with their husbands. I can’t really spend time with them at the moment as it’s too painful. Is anyone else a similar age to me? Did you make new friends or just learn to cope?
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Hello @hatthebat,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
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How awful. I am so sorry for your loss. Having such a young family must be so hard. My husband was 61 and that has broken me so I can’t imagine how you feel. I have no words of wisdom but you have children to focus on and they will see you they. Take care x
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Ho @hatthebat
I’m so sorry you’re here at such a young age.
How awful is that.
I’m quite a bit older than you but still
Think of myself as a young widow - I was 52 when my husband died at age 56.
I have 4 kids the youngest whom was 16 at the time - and all completely distraught at the passing of their dad.
I also found it hard to tolerate friends as it just reminded me of what I had lost.
17 months down the line I still struggle with my old friends. That’s the ones who stayed around. I’ve gone out and joined new things and made some new acquaintances- whether they will develop into friendships is still to be seen.
Just do what’s right for you. If you need a break from friends they will understand - and be there for you when you need them again. Although some might disappear along the way.
Look after yourself best you can and post on here if it helps xxx
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I lost my husband at 36, when my kids were still in diapers. I couldn’t stand being around my old friend group at first either, it was like salt in the wound. What helped me was finding a few new friends through a grief group, people who didn’t expect me to be “okay.” Over time I reconnected with my old friends too, but only once I was ready.
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