My husband passed away 5 years ago and people think i should be over it by now well i am not i lost a big part of my life that night and i was so not ready for it i suffer panics attacks when i go out as this big world seems so bigger ans frightening than it ever did before and i am so scared of people who can hurt you with the simplist of words people dont jnow you are grieving you dont have a sign on you saying that and when the most simple word or acr of kindness sets you off i hate it i never thought i would get to this age and be on my own it is not nice at all no one to talk to pauls family i am just on a tick sheet and my own brothers dont get it that i miss paul and feel so lonely i never thought of any of this at all i would love ti make some friends but that is scary as i do not want to get hurt and i know that i can get hurt as i am a very emotional person due to my meds i cannot help that so i stay in my safe place which is home i go out once a week for shopping and cannot wait to get back home even although i know its a empty house i am going back to with no paul there to ask me how i got on and did i get everything i wanted , when i think now all i want is him here with me then everything would be right again and nobody could ever hurt me again as paul would make me feel so very safe and protected