Losing my husband

Losing a partner
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Here i am again that time of night to go to bed but i know i will not sleep just stare at the ceiling yet again and i feel so alone i went to the ctreon garage yesterday and faced the service manager about how i was treated bu them i was so calm and told him how the problem i had with my car could have been solved in my first visit and how i was told to take it back to.the garage in york where i bought it from i told him that is not good customer service as far as.i.was concerned he agreed with me and said yes it could have been sorted.out and shoukd have been he said i could take it to.them for my first.service and he would get it picked up from my home and even got the car washed and cleaned out for me i felt so good about standing up.to them but i could feel.the lump rising in my.throat i went to.my car and decided to stop at macdonalds as it was rush hour traffic i got my order and stayed in my car to.eat and then the tears just came flooding out i had nobody to share it with about the garage no.paul and i am trying so hard not to bother my.nephew as he takes a lot from me and i could not.tell my friend as i am trying my hardest to not annoy them and i just wanted to.tell.someone and there was no one to tell and i also went for microsuction on my ears and now have earache and a sore throat i am so.fed up with this lonely life its not what i or paul had planned i.just wish i could talk to him then i just.might feel.better but when you dont have that person to share the ups and the.downs with.anymore what are we supposed to do i wish i knew

Sarah :broken_heart:

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Just see your post and see nonone has commented on it.

Sometimes this can hurt too.

I feel your pain as I am living it too.

I just got back from visiting my husbands grave. I havenā€™t been great and said I was sorry to him. He would be so upset to see me so tortured. I was so strong for him on his cancer journey. Fought every step of the way. As did he to stay with me.

I am not religious but find myself hoping that one day we will be together again. And maybe it could be infinity without illness. Just us together.

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I know the exact feeling, its so hard to live like this, things that have happened and no husband to tell so the tears start, I just wish I could have him back and our life back together, I miss him so much nothing will ever be the same , and thereā€™s nothing I can do but cry without him here :cry: :broken_heart:

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So sorry youā€™re having a rough time. Itā€™s all the little things we miss like sharing a joke or just having a chat about our day . As well as the cuddles. We didnā€™t choose this life .and itā€™s a lonely one . There are support line that are open, you might find them helpful

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Hi

I post on here a lot and just sometimes somone will talk to you but lately i feel nobody bothers to answer me at all i thought this site would help me but when nobody replies you feel even worse .

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Hi Sarah,

How has today been for you?

I can really relate to your post last night. People think of loneliness as not being in the presence of others but the loneliness of day-to-day life without your partner who shares it all, big and little things, is devastating.

I have lovely, attentive family and friends but am feeling so in my own head all the time, sometimes itā€™s hard to give attention back or feel truly connected to them. When you mention your nephew and friends who are there for you but you donā€™t want to bother them, I feel the same way.

My youngest was here this afternoon, pottering about in the garage, using his dadā€™s tools. On one hand that felt nice to hear noise and know he was in the house but, Iā€™ve felt so down today, I found it hard to talk. He could tell it was a difficult day, of course he has them too, and we chatted about how hard and draining our grief is. Heā€™s good to talk to but I donā€™t want to bring him down when he is feeling okay and I donā€™t want my children and friends to have to cope my grief as well as their own.

When he left earlier this evening, I was able to let the tears fall and fall. There was a relief in being left alone even though I donā€™t want to be. I donā€™t want him or others to have to deal with sad me. Iā€™m so sad and my home feels like a sad house now. I wish I could feel real joy and Iā€™m scared Iā€™ll never feel it again.

Iā€™m nearly 5 months on from my partnerā€™s death and I do get on with things that need doing and I do plan things to do and people to see. But, as you said in your post, bedtime comes and you know you wonā€™t sleep. Iā€™ll have got through the day, but when I wake up, thereā€™s another one to get through.

Well done on getting the garage to admit their poor service and try to make it up to you. We should take the small wins and Iā€™m glad you shared it here with us.

I come on here when I need to find comfort and support. Your post helped me to remember that others have similar feelings and experiences and care enough to reach out and post.

Thank you and sending hugs.

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Well I feel for you and heard YOU.

Gentle hug to YOU x

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5 months for me toošŸ˜Ŗ

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How has today been for you Absent? x

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I also heard you

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Hard.

I am trying to seek professional help as I am.not coping.

Already hit hurdleā€™s but I must keep trying.

I need this out of my head. A release. And Iā€™d prefer it be locally, face to face and not to leave at a kind friends door.

I knew it would be hard. But this is way beyond anything I thought would happen. Itā€™s too great, scary.

I consider myaelf quite a string person but I am truly broken.

We loved each other so much and were still in love to the very end. I was 16 when we got together and I am 62 now.

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It is so hard and trying to get through each day is all we can do. Itā€™s all consuming. I too wish I could think about something else and feel like myself again for a while.

I think the pain and grief of losing your partner is unimaginable to anyone who hasnā€™t experienced it.

Getting some professional support is helping me. II completed the self-referral form online with Cruse and they got in touch with me within a couple of days. Weekly welfare calls at first until a counsellor was available and now I am having weekly sessions. They are on Zoom so itā€™s face-to-face but also without the need to get yourself somewhere and home again.

Itā€™s good to have someone who is completely unrelated to your situation who will listen without judgement and in confidence. They can offer 8 sessions so Iā€™m planning on going to someone local when they finish. My GP has said there is a very long waiting list if they refer to local services, so finding something through a charity has been excellent.

Mind also offer counselling and your local council or hospice may also have services available to you.

You were together for such a long time. I can hear how hard it is for you. x

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I am so glad counselling is helping you . I am a waiting list for cruise counselling I have been told it will be several weeks before I start mine as there is a long waiting list. The pain of losing your partner is unimaginable

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Thankyou.

I did call Cruse. Only got recorded message, saying not taking new referals in my area at the moment.

Someone suggested another charity. Their office opens monday so going to give them a call. If they unable to help I will hopefully be speaking to someone so I will ask if they can point me in right durection locally.

All this hard. As I am on my knees. Exhaustion and very emotional. Saying it out loud I crack. As most contact with people is texts.

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It really is.

They told me I would have to wait but was offered sessions quite quickly. Hope the same happens for you.

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Thatā€™s good you didnā€™t have to wait to long for counselling . I keep my fingers crossed it the same for me .

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Charities and your local council can be good at signposting to local services. I hope you find some support soon.

It is exhausting and I find I can become emotional without warning. It doesnā€™t matter when you are talking with a counsellor and can feel like a good place to let it out.

I find I panic if someone calls me and I donā€™t answer. I find it easier to text. I feel bad that sometimes I just donā€™t want to answer. My friend is on holiday and sending me messages and photos right now. I know she is thinking of me and doesnā€™t want me to feel lonely but sheā€™s visited somewhere today that I went with my partner and I donā€™t know how to answer her. Saying, ā€œoh we went thereā€, might make her feel sheā€™s upset me. She hasnā€™t, the memory is nice and itā€™s itā€™s just another sad thought.

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Yes get that completely.

Think I am going to give online a rest for today.

But like to say thankyou to all that have replied, read and answered my posts.

X

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I hope you have a restful evening as much as you can