Hi
I came on here hoping to try and find myself again but when i came on here i was lonely, confused ,sad , with no friends to help me and i am even more confused,lonely ,sad than i ever was i will never be the same sarah i was when paul was here i know that but i wanted to feel better about myself and now i feel even worse than i did before i do not know how people on here become friends as i never have found that on here feeling lost all over again its horrilbe 
Sarah, i am so sorry you are feeling as you are.Grief effects us all so deeply, we are all different as human beings and we all have different ways to try and cope.Its 11 months today since my dear wife passed so suddenly and unexpectedly, to say its been a rollercoaster is an undertatement, more downs hardly any ups.grief doesnt follow a path or timeline,itsunpredictable.,it strikes in waves, sometimes gentle often overwhelmingGrief effects us all differently, often deep, unrelenting sadness , confusion and guilt, also anger, not at my dear loving wife but questioning WHY?.Sometimes just getting out of bed feels overwhelming and impossible.feelings of isolation.People mean well but unless they have experienced what we have they just dont get it at all.Sometimes words feel hollow and without true meaning and conviction.Someone to really listen is so important, if you want to talk talk to me, if you want to cry dont be afraid to let the tears flow, i cry still every day often less heavily but still cry.sometimes you just want someone to sit beside you and listen, whether that be on a phone or sat beside you.listening and caring are so important and listening because you want to help anf give support and comfort too.Grief isa testament to the love we carry for those we have lost.it never truly dissapears its always there in some form.I dont have any friends Sarah, work colleagues yes but no friends.real friends are those that stand by you, stand with you in times good and bad, someone that will never let you down , someone you can trust.Sometimes life can be like being in a wilderness tring to find our way but without a map.
look after yourself Sarah that is so important.Reach out if you want to talk, never feel alone.Never feel afraid to express your emotions.Crying or feeling low is not a sign of weekness, its part of healing, reflecting the depth of your love and the significance of your loss.Take care.
Hi brummy
Friends are non exsistent as a couple we had friends but when paul had his.accident people disapeared i thought it was because they where scared i would ask for help which i did not i just carried on as i loved paul so much we had a very deep bond that my family saw but pauls family never did i was strong when i had paul now i feel so lonely and on my own what happens to me i do not know i spent the whole day yesterday in tears i got very little sleep last night and i know its going to be the same tonight no one to wipe my tears any more no one there for my birthday or even valentines day they are special but mo cards no.flowers just my tears i dont think anybody gets how yoh feel.at all i have a wonderful nephew but feel that i cannot be laying all of this at his door one of my brothers just said ring my stepmum as she is the same my dad passed away coming up 3yrs on the 10th feb but she still does not get me and why i still feel this way after 5yrs but it really never goes away i just wish i had that one person i could talk to on the phone but there is nobody we have no children so what do you do i do not know how to cope with this at all
Sarah
My husband died 4 weeks ago after a massive stroke. He survived 7 weeks unable to talk or swallow and I held his hand as he passed away. I miss him so much. I cry and cry and feel like I can’t go on. My family miss him but they seem to carry on with their lives while I think I don’t have a life anymore. I am on my own most of the time and they don’t seem to realise that I need them or they don’t know how to handle me
Hi maz9
I am so sorry for your loss i know how it feels i list paul 5yrs ago but it still feels like yesterday you have to cry keep letting it out as keeping it in will be worse for you as for your family they are dealing with it in there own way they do not see our pain or even understand it i should know my brothers have only jyst realised i am not coping they go home ans get in with there lives you need to greive for the best guy you had in this world and never be afraid to do that he was you soulmate and your best friend and your lover all rolled into one amazing guy and never let anyone tell you different i am here everyday if you ever want to talk about any of it if you feel like a one to one chat then we can chat privatly us ladies need to stick together and help one and other take care of yourself and know you are not alone
Sarah
@Maz9 ,
Hello, I am so sorry that your husband has died - this is very, very tough. How are you doing today? Spending time alone? I know - I know exactly what this is like. I was there, were you are, nearly four years ago. First things first, you are not alone when you are on your own. This is something I learned fairly on, too. Your husband is with you, even if you can’t see him or hold him. So just talk to him - about how you feel, how you miss him, what’s on the telly, how the local community is - anything that comes to mind. That helped me get the waves of grief out of my chest - where they threatened to stifle me. Tell your family that you would like them to keep in touch. Contact friends - don’t sit the dark alone, as I did, for way too long. Take it a minute at a time. Grief can’t be rushed. There are no short cuts, my friend, but there is loads of support available - friends, family, folk on here who understand, a walk in the local park, a hot chocolate when everything else fails. Hold tight, keep posting, know your friends here understand. Loads of love, your mate in grief, Vancouver x