I have woke up in tears because i remember when paul wass 44 i was 42 he had a accident he fell down a flight of stairs at home into the cellar concrete floor not very fogiving he fractured his skull and damaged his spinal cord c3 to c6 he was paralised from the neck down they operated on him and took all the broken bits out of his neck and with 3.5 months in hospital for rehab tgey got him walking again in a sort of a fashion it was like a baby just learning but it gave us hope
But i have just found out now that his family blame me for the accident they say i pushed him down the flight of stairs i would never do this i loved him to much to even hurt a hair on his body the accident happened in1998 and rhey have only just said it to me now knowing paul is not here to even answer that question that has been very hurtful to me as i stayed with paul for another 22yrs as i loved him very much and still do it has made me think i must be a terrible person if they think that and i must be that is why i have no friends and nobody will ever like me ever again how could they i do not even like myself anymore is this why i am still here as a punishment the tears are just rolling down my face thinking of all of this and what have i ever done to deserve this i miss paul so much if he was here they would never have spoke to me like that but he is not and i really need him he’s all i have got i just think the whole world lojes at me like they do i will never ever have any friends in this world as i now everybody hates me i hate me
Sarah