Hi
Well I have been a bit brave I think ot it might be stupid but I put on my social media page to my family if any off them fancied going out for Sunday lunch this Sunday I did not put on there it’s my birthday they should all know that I am not holding my breath I think one will say why what so special about this Sunday and the other might say sorry we have other plans that’s what I am thinking I know my family very well I might as well ask a bunch of strangers to go out with me then I would have them worried that would get there attention then they would think what is going on what is she doing somebody might take advantage of her it would take that to get there attention sad is it not that families only bother with you when they think they might lose things if I made up a fictional boyfriend they would be over her in a heartbeat saying we are worried about you and I would think who has been worried about me for the past 5 yrs none of them has truth be known .
Sarah
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Well done Sarah, I really hope they respond kindly. We have to give people a second chance sometimes.
Hi Helen 39
So far the only one is my niece that got in contact with me today she said she knows it’s hard for me and how close me and uncle Paul where she said our home was always warm and welcoming and smelt off coffee all the time and me and her uncle Paul we always so.happy it was a happy home I am glad that she got that from us all my nieces and nephews wher always welcome at our home and we loved them all very much she has booked a table.at the pub near her and I will pick up my brother and take him with me she knows that I keep.putting myself down and she keeps telling me that I am.loved my other nephew who.takes me out every second Wednesday is taking me out on the 1st April for my birthday meal at least two off them are bothered that I feel like this it is not.nice feeling like nobody loves you anymore it’s been 5yrs and in them 5yrs the only one that took me out was my nephew all the others and Paul’s family could not.be bothered well I feel.that is life now never did I think.i.would ever feel.so.unwanted in my life 
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It’s a start, well done. Go out and enjoy your lunch.
Teenagers can do and say some awful things, it’s sounds like your poor niece had problems of her own. Hopefully now you can forget the past problems you had with your brothers family.
Hi Helen
I am going on Sunday for lunch out with her and her dad i am picking her dad up.my brother as he lives near.me my other brother says they cannot do Sunday lunch with me as his wife has something planned with her 5yr old granddaughter but I could go to.bingo with them at.nightime I have had to reach out to them they never want to.reach out to.me knowing full well I am struggling myself and paul.would be married 50yrs in July that to me is such a big milestone but when I say it to.them they look at me as if I have two heads or there is something wrong with me I can and never will forget paul he was a big part of my life but this bieng on your own is the most difficult time and thing I have ever gone through we where young when we got married I was 19paul was 21 it was something that happened in them years
Sarah
Dear Sarah
Go to these things and try to have a nice time. Our husbands wouldn’t want us to spend the rest of our lives in tears. I can almost hear my husband at times telling me at times to pull myself together and get on with it.
Maybe try to keep the conversation light, I’m not saying don’t mention Paul of course you should. I think some people find it difficult to deal with our grief and that’s why they disappear from our lives. Time to build bridges.