Do you know I have the most dysfunctional family out there i have two brothers and they fell out with each other over one wife said something to my mum and had her crying the other brother came in took mums sid obviously then the other came home took the wife’s side and they have never spoke since all over words that neither of them heard said and I have been stuck in the middle of this ever since all because I did not here what got said and unless I hear it for myself I cannot or will not have an argument based on hesaid she said I think I am the logical one but the two brothers well that’s different when my husband passed away they could not even be in the same room not even for me now I cannot say oh I have been invited to a party to the other brother without it causing problems I just wish these two men would grow up and act there age not there shoe size life is to short to be arguing the brothers wife that started all of this is just as stubborn woman she does not even talk to her own mother how is in her 80s now and that just pathetic that is you mother at the end of day they are both stubborn but the sister in law had a heart attack recently and I would just love this family what’s left of us to get on i have to make decisions as to who I see and when I see them it not fair it.my birthday on Sunday and one niece has arranged for.me.to go out.for.a.meal at Halifax with her and dad whom I.have to.pick up and take there the other brother said they can’t come.as.they have something planned with 5yr old granddaughter but if I want to go.out to bingo with them I can so I told.him about the meal and he said you won’t have time to do both I should not have to choose one.over the other and I am sick if it now I told my nephew I am 70 next year do you think we can all do something together for my birthday there’s a years advance notice but I will not hold my breath I might even be dead by then and then they will go to my funeral that’s the only time the two will be together great is it not that I would have to die to get them in the same room I dont say talking and my sister in law will not come families who would have mine nobody that’s who
Sarah, you have enough to be dealing with. I am so sorry you have this to worry about on top of your own grief. Please try to take a step back and realize these petty things are not actually your problems. Look after yourself for now, that is the main thing. Matt x
You are right I do have enough to deal.with I should learn to love myself more and boulderdash to them they have made me choose all my life what.i do well no more it’s there problems I cannot make them talk and if they cannot put there petty problems behind them then it’s not my fault it’s there’s thank you for.bieng so nice and kind to me I have not had that.since paul passed away and it is so nice to.think that someone thinks I am worth something
Hi Sarah, that’s a real positive step towards for you. You are totally correct, control the things that you can and don’t worry about the things outside your control. It will only drain you and you have so much to cope with already, you don’t need that on your mind as well. Btw I smiled at the use of the word “Boulderdash” I have not heard that in years! Keep on keeping on, look after yourself first and foremost and you are, of course, very welcome to a bit of concern and common decency. It is my honour to have made you feel just a little bit like someone else cares, I think the world would be a better place, if we all looked after each other more. Take care. Matt x
I to think like you why on earth can every one not get on with each other and be kind to one and other it takes nothing to think how another person feels I am glad I made you smile at least I.can still do that for someone I never like using bad language I do not think there is any need for it but tomorrow is my birthday and I am going out with my brother and his daughter I now my brother thinks his French is a second language to him but I never new my neice was the same till Thursday when I spoke to here via messenger and she uses the French language like her dad ie bad language I am going to have a lovely afternoon thinking omg I hope people dont think I am like that as I am not I will have a headache by the time I drop my brother off cannot even have a drink as I do the driving so no cocktails for this young girl just a coffee and some headache pills when I get home you know what I should have got a total stranger to take me out I might have had a better time this is when I miss paul for meals out and moaning at the rubbish on the telly
Thank you I found it.much easier not to.mention them to.each other i just dont like it but what can I do the other brother is hoping to see me tonight at.bingo.if I get back from.halifax in time but this is.my day not there’s mine hooray I am 69
Thank you for your birthday wishes I had a.good day tried not to.let my brothers get me down as my husband paul would want me to smile and laugh so that is what I did
just a coffee and some headache pills when I get home you know what I should have got a total stranger to take me out I might have had a better time this is when I miss paul for meals out and moaning at the rubbish on the telly 
