Hi
I am wide awake and have been since 2am I cannot sleep I feel physically sick I cannot go on like this i need to have paul here with me i know I do I miss him so much I dont think anybody understands me at all if this is what they call life without your other half then forget it 
I am not the name i put at the end off this as I can’t be I should change my name to horrible person as that is how I feel 
Sweetlady
Good morning to you,
Sorry you did have such a bad night!
Hopefully you were able to catch some more sleep.
First things first you are not a horrible person.
You’re feeling horrible right now but that’s “part of the game” of grieving for one’s beloved soulmate.
Paul is looking out for you from up above and I’m sure that he won’t want you to be so distraught.
So please be kind to yourself and try to stop tormenting yourself.
Wishing you a peaceful day!
Kind regards - Joe
I understand you, Sweetlady, as does everyone else here. It is literally hell on earth, sometimes I cant actually believe this has happened to me. I have really wanted to die these last weeks, the only way I can cope at the moment is talking to Norman as if he is still here, I carry a small photo of him that I take on my walks and talk to him, I scream at the sky and shout "where are you?" I read through every post here looking for any advice, the best for me is walking in nature, sometimes I walk so fast to try and shake some of the grief off. Some post on here of people who are much further along in this nightmare say you eventually learn to carry the grief with you, I can only hope that is true, but I admit it is not a real inviting concept when all you want is your loved one back by your side. We have to hope that this hell cant last forever, there has to be some peace for us all ahead. I wish for some sort of peace for you this afternoon.
Helen xx