Losing my husband

Losing a partner
1

Hi everybody

I have had a rotten day so many tears i have turned the telly on and watching the one show they are on about next.week bieng carers week i was my husbands carer for 22yrs and i would not change a thing about doing all off that when paul passed away my life changed so much for the last two yrs we had carers in to help we had 8 carers a day 7 days a week 1night sitter 7 nights a week a team of 4nurses 6days a week so our home was very busy and i was registered with carers uk bu that night that paul passed away my life changed i was in shock and pauls carers helped me out up till the funeral out of the kindness of there own hearts but when the funeral was over so was all of the people they no longer came to our home i felt so lost all these people where there for 2yrs and now nothing i never even got support from carers uk i feel that yes i am bereaved but i should also have had some support as his carer i had lost my husband but i feel.that there should be more support for carers as well as bereaved help it would help us so much that is why i feel as if i am not needed anymore surplus to requirements and i know this as my brother got poorly 2yrs ago and needed a bit of help and i felt as if i was wanted and needed again when i brought him home from hospital we rang my stepmum and she was on speaker phone and she said thats what you need someone to care for buy my brother bieng a man said i don’t need care it hurt and when i was driving home i had to pull in and cry why did he have to be so insensitive he is always like that so i just feel like a burden to my family which is what i did not want but would have loved some help with it all in the beginning.

Sweetlady

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Hi Sweetlady, you havent been a burden to your family, but rather the opposite, a saviour. I will never understand why some people act and say the things they do, some do out of their own internal problems, others I guess just dont have much empathy or compassion inside themselves. You can only tell yourself you did the right thing for your darling Paul, he will know that and will be waiting with open arms for you when you join him. Hope you can find some peace this evening. xx
Helen

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Hi helen 20

Thank you for your.kind words and kindness towards me i don’t see my family much i see on nephew every fortnight and he is the only one i see he takes.me.out for a meal.and a coffee i never wanted to.be this.burden on him or the rest of them considering that i don’t see the others it just makes me sad that they cannot be bothered i think that is why i feel so lonely :cry:

Sweetlady

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Im sorry you feel so lonely. I live on my own now, but I have 2 old cats I love dearly, I also volunteer for 14 years now at an animal sanctuary, I look after the cats there, which I have always loved doing. The only sad bit whilst I am there is that I no longer get calls from my Norm whilst Im working. You have to convince yourself you are not a burden, you sound like an incredibly kind person to me, your nephew sounds like a good guy, it is not your fault the rest of the family aren`t so great. I come on this site every day because I feel so lonely, not the loneliness of not being with other people, but the loneliness of not being with my Norman, something only the others here who have walked in those shoes get. xxxx
Helen

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