Hi
Someone told me that i was lucky as i had 44yrs with my husband and they had only had 1yr with thier partner well i think that is such an insestive thing to say to a person who is grieving to me it just makes things harder for me as i would have more to miss and i really do miss him i would never be that insensitive to anybody at all i still cry everyday and that is so normal when you wake up and they are not there who would not feel like that we ar all going through the same thing on here we have all lost someone be it a wife/husbands/ life partner/ sister/ brother /mum or dad or even grandparents we are all suffering a loss in one way or another so please be kind to one and other please think before you write or speak to someone we are in the same boat
Sweetlady
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Hi Sarah, that was not a kind thing to say, but perhaps in their grief theyre not realising what theyre really saying. I also had 44 years with my beloved Norm, the last few days I just keep feeling sadder and sadder, perhaps its hearing all the laughter in the neighbours garden. I cant take away your grief, like mine it eats into your soul. The only solace for a lot of us is being able to tell our stories and sadness and know that everyone else here knows exactly what hell were going through. Hoping you can find a little bit of peace this evening.
Helen
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Hi helen
Thank you for your kind words yes it does eat away at you i have been poorly today and had to cancel my meal.out with my nephew now i just need someone to talk to someone who.understands all of this grief i went back to bed earlier i felt a bit better now its hit me again and i think i will go back to bed not.sleep just stare at the cieling wishing i had someone to talk to there is no one thats the problem just one person to ring or talk to would be nice i feel.so alone and i do.not.like it .
Sweetlady
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Sarah, all you can do is post on here if, like me, you have no one nearby who cares. I really have no advice to offer, I am at the moment sobbing my heart out, I think Im torturing myself looking at old photos, 70s music on. May we all here find peace one day. x
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Hello, I also look at pictures of my beloved husband and how I wish I was back in those precious moments with him. Im also listening to music, from the eighties , that’s when my husband and I met.
God bless
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Hi helen
I did not.mean to make you cry about your husband i to love 70s music it reminds me of paul how can it not but like you say it makes.you cry i cannot think of one thing that.o do not cry at wven when i am.having a shower it takes me back to when he first started needing help and we used to shower together i used to think well if i am going to get wet showering him then i might as well get a shower to i met paul in 1975 jan 10th it was a blind date and that was ot we where never apart till now and that is what i find so hard bieng on my own never thought i would be .
Sweetlady
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Hi, Sarah and Lightmary, its all just rubbish, isnt it, trying to keep going day after day. People try to console you by saying you still have your treasured memories, but memories just remind you of what you`ve lost.
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I feel incredibly lucky to have had 45 years with my husband & I have just returned home from his funeral. I now feel totally lost. I have such supportive children, but nothing can replace him. I feel like my heart is breaking. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t think it matters how long you’ve had with your partner, the loss is still immense and the void is unfillable.
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It’s 64 years since I married my Dave and there were good times and bad times but over the years we had become as one, it’s not how long you are married that counts it’s how much love you have shared, how much pain you are in now and how you wonder if you will be able to cope without him.
The days are so long but the nights are worse, and meeting people when I’m out and about are pure utter torture. They don’t know what to say so they either ignore me or make light of the worst happening of my life. Did you know I will get over it, I have to take my time, I have my family, and my memories, can I say I didn’t want memories I wanted him my big clumsy man who no matter how he tried managed to get it wrong.
I have to live for my children now, so sad to hear these words of advice, In the meantime I will try to smile and give thanks for good intentions. Nothing or any body could replace my beloved, but only I knkw this.
I send tender thoughts and sincere love to you lovely and kind people who can understand how to share my grief. May the. Lord bless you and give you strength. 
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Hi Dawn I’m sorry you are suffering. I think it’s important to be positive. Like you I know I was blessed to have loved and been loved by an amazing woman. My wife died on Christmas day after two years fighting bile duct cáncer. The pain I felt when she died was horrific. I have tried to channel the pain into exercise which helps with the stress and helps to sleep at night. I spend a lot of time walking. Which helps as well as talking on this site which has helped me be able to express my feeling as everyone understand how we are feeling.wishing you all the best
Tom
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My beloved was my everything. Together 44 years and he made me a whole person. Until I met him, I always felt low self worth but he was my best friend, my supporter, my encourager, my soul mate. I can hardly face the days now without him. It’s awful.
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i lost my husband 9 weeks ago, and I know how you feel about feeling lost, im still trying to find my way , I was married for 35 years, … what does one do after such a loss, im trying to pick up the pieces of my broken heart 
I honestly don’t know what to do next, how to keep on living without my husband. Please take care of yourself and may God bless you 