Cna anyone tell me hoe they are coping in this heat i have been struggling all week with it all i am doing is missing my.husband and wishing he was here he could.make.me.feel better never wanted him or needed him as much as i do today i am just going to bed now i am not coping at all nearly 6yrs in and it still feels as bad with now one to talk to why would anybody want to.talk to.me i am a mess
Sweetlady
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So sorry you feel so low - this heat helps nothing. I have come to the conclusion that my mind is full of cotton wool - I went to town this morning, 4 shops later I still hadn’t managed to buy what I wanted (garlic bread of all things!) Found and remembered it in shop 5, cooked 2 slices to go with my tea tonight and found them after I had my dinner finished! I hope somewhere that somebody else feels like this (not that I would wish it on anybody) as it seriously bothers me. My husband died very suddenly in January and his funeral was 5 days before our 53rd wedding anniversary - I feel like I have lost my anchor in life - that person that I could tell anything to and know he would understand.
Sorry, this was not meant to be a book - I really just wanted to say that I hope you feel a wee big brighter tomorrow. Take care x
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Dear Sarah
I’m sorry your struggling with the heat, it’s too much for many of us. Whenever there’s a problem or we are struggling with something we miss our loved ones even more.
The way I’m coping in the heat is sitting with a fan pointed directly at my head. I hate sitting, I like to keep busy so I can’t think it’s the only way to get through the day. So while sitting I’ve tried to read, I’ve also been searching for a holiday, a solo coach trip. I’ve joined an online group who travel with a certain coach company and have been reading their exploits and recommendations. Anything to keep my brain busy. Hope this helps x
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Hi Sarah, sorry you’re feeling really down again. I spend a fair bit of time on my own too so I realise how lonely it can feel. We haven’t had the really high temperatures in central Scotland although it’s been warm, I think it was 29 centigrade one of the days. Hot for us!. Next week it’s supposed to be cooler. It’s been nine months since George passed away and sometimes it still feels unreal, I still cry most days.
My friend is disabled and doesn’t drive anymore but her husband has brought her over a couple of times, so I’ve had some company. My sister is back from holiday but I try not to burden her as she has her own family problems. Does your nephew still take you for lunch? Having that contact can be a Godsend.
Six years is a long time being on your own and you’ve done well to have coped. I think it’s not having anything to look forward to that compounds our losses. Have you considered any groups or clubs you could join just for regular company? I couldn’t face anything at the start and I’m still disinclined especially as I don’t drive and public transport is not great
Anyway I’m sitting here looking at a grey sky, it’s windy and there’s thunderstorms forecast. I hope your day is a bit better. Take care.
Noreen.
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Sorry for your loss, I’m nine months in following my partner’s sudden death. I too had the same problems with brain fog and memory loss after my partner died. My thoughts were constantly racing, I’d have telephone conversations which I couldn’t remember having and unless I wrote everything down it would be forgotten.
Thankfully that has improved now and I’m better organised. Apparently it’s very common following a bereavement. I’m afraid grief isn’t a short journey, it’s a long hard path which is difficult to navigate. Grieve in your own way and for as long as it takes. Don’t be influenced by the expectations of others, if they haven’t worn your shoes they really don’t know how you’re feeling. You can expect setbacks along the way but you have to work through them. Hopefully you’ll feel a bit lighter in the coming months. Take care.
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Dear Sarah,
welcome back!
Today is the last day with this annoying heat 
.
Starting tomorrow it will cool down.
May God bless you!
Kind regards - Joe
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Hello Sweetlady, ive been wondering how you were doing..have those iron injections been working well for you.?..this heat is bad on everyone,..we just hafta invest in many cooling fans. Please take care of yourself , God bless you 
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Dear Sweet Lady, it is not you it is other people not caring. It is 6 years since my dear husband died and I have never felt so lost. People who have not been in our shoes just cannot understand how empty our lives become when we loose a husband or wife as other people have their own lives with their partners. It happens to us all one way or another in time so big hugs to you dear one we on here know how you feel. Big hugs to you dear one from CAZ3J
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Today is another hard day for me still nobody to talk too and i am trying my hardest to get used to this loniness you think after all this time i would be used to it but i am not i miss my husband everday i miss his laughter his chatting and most of all his voice i dont think i will be like others on here that can move on as i need him to be able to move on stupid i know but i do need him in my life i know known of us on here ever wanted this but we got it dished up to us and we all miss our loved ones but i do think i will miss him forever and that is what i do not know how to cope with i loved him with all.my heart and i know he loved me the same way but unfortunately to me he was taken to soon from me and i have to find a way to deal with this pain I do miss chatting to him and now being on my own i find it very difficult not having him or anybody to chat to i know i am to chatty but thats me my husband never complained about my chattiness at all but some people do and i think that is why i am on my own with no friends as they dont like my chattiness sorry for that and sorry for the long message but if i do not get it all out here then i have nothing
Sweetlady
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Hi Sweetlady.
I think this is the place we all come when the days are hard. And they all feel very much like that lately.
I really hope you manage to find some peace amongst it all.
I will remember you in my prayers
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Its the end of the day and i am going to go to my bed whether i get any sleep is another thing as all i do is lay awake listening but its so quite there is no noise at all i toss and turn drift off to sleep wake up thinking it been hours i have been asleep i loke at the clock and its 1hr i dont know what to do next i play a game on my phone thinking that will send me to sleep but no it does.not omg where are you my lovely husband i need you to help.me this silly old lady cannot get to.sleep without you i just want a cuddle to much to ask love you.always
Sweetlady
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Hi sweetlady I lost my wife 6 month ago 4 days before Christmas and I feel your pain ,it’s not just emotional it turns into a physical pain that as you said is overpowering. Im sat here at almost midnight crying my eyes out , don’t know what to say but I hope you can find some peace in your grief ,I really feel for you
Hello I lost my wife after 46 years she had a heart attack after surgery June 12 she was due to come out of hospital that day it was a massive traumatic experience for me to deal with I am 66 and for the last few days it has been soooo hard to deal with days on my own fearful of what the future holds just not knowing how to fill the days possibly joining a bowls club but she won’t be there to share it with have sought out a bereavement councillor privately I am hoping she will give me some normality if that’s the right word I certainly can feel you grief and emotion stay strong
Hi sweet lady im sat here just the same don’t go to bed because my beautiful Jackie is not here now ,six months and im not coping. I miss the cuddles at night like you even after 63 years I miss them so so much I don’t think we will ever adjust to the lonelyness the pain is devastating I don’t know what to say to you because I know what your going through just hope you find peace eventually sending my love and hope your life can move forward in the future
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So sorry to read about yhe pain you are enduring.
To slowly battle through these tough times We have to try all sorts of things that help us cope, music, walking, joining new groups, new hobbies , etc etc
You have an asset, being chatty. I have become insular and introverted of late, another by product of grief.
Being chatty could well help you and benefit other as well.
Good luck, play to your strengths
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Thank you
Hello Kevin298, so sorry for the loss of your wife, I lost my husband in March. The loss of a spouse is so devastating 
, its been a little over 3 months for me, and the pain of losing my husband after 35 years of marriage is unbearable 
. I’ve slowly begun doing my hobbies that I use to love doing, but when my husband passed I had no interest in doing anything, I just thought , whats the point. But im slowly getting better. ,I wish you all the best moving forward with your life, i hope posting here helps you as it has me. God bless you
Thank you for your message it is soo dam hard just trying to fill the voids and thinking it’s only you it has happened to not eating properly trying to sleep it comes in waves it’s like being on a beach having little waves of memories you can deal with and then suddenly a huge sunami hits you and you just have a meltdown you seem to look for some kind of normality in life now but just don’t know what it will be . Regards Kevin
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Dear Kevin,
welcome to a club that nobody wants to be a member of!
Especially the first months are traumatizing, there is a whirlwind of emotions running through the mind, the whole life has been torn to shreds.
If you have difficulties with eating I’d like to recommend high-calorie energy drinks for you.
They come in a wide variety of flavors, either ready-made or as a powder to blend with milk.
It’s very important that your body gets the nutrients it needs.
And, of course, take care to drink enough.
Sending strength to you, may God bless and comfort you!
Kind regards - Joe
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Hi Sarah, stop putting yourself down just because you’re chatty. Lots of people are like that. I’m a bit of an introvert but I’ve a friend who could talk for Scotland and we get along fine. It would be a boring place if we were all the same.
Even if you had lots of friends they wouldn’t stop you missing Paul because what we all want on here is to have our loved ones back. Obviously it’s not possible. At nine months I don’t feel I’ve made much progress and the future is scary. I think some of us find moving forward much more difficult than others and I’m probably one of those people. I hope you find it easier over the coming months.
Noreen.