Hi
My day just got worse as the day wore on i went to otley hospital for my iron infusion and for the first time i felt so alone i am so anemiac that i need two infisions but u felt so alone today i really wanted and needed my husband to be there 
and he was not my breathing is not.great.because of.my anemia and i felt.so.alone and eveybody looking at me the staff at.the hospital are great but they are.not a replacement for my husband i stayed as strong as i could in there as i did not want them to see me upset i Finally got out of there at 16 .20 and then had to.wake.back to me.car the.walk of shame as i.was breathless i got to my car which i call my safety net its.my safe place then i fell asleep so.tired i am.fed up.of felling like this.but the male nurse said i looked anemiac nothing like making a.girl feel.good.about herself when she feels like crap i decided i would go to sainsbiry and get.some.bread gluten free but when i got on the road they had blocked that road that i needed to be on so took another road to try and get to where i wanted to be and because we could not see the sign that said road closed because of traffic we turned into the road me and another car only to have this.guy in his car waving at us frantically and i said i know i have just seen the sign so.we did a uturn i can imagine what he was thinking stupid women driver but we could not see the sign till it was to.late i then ended up in asda to.get what i needed and my bloody breathless ness kicked in with pain in my back i felt so old i just wished the floor would swallow me up i also.met one of the hospital staff and she said to me we will have to stop meeting like this so i was telling her what had happened to me that when i got in my car i fell.asleep we where both in the free from aisle and she said to me.about bieng a ceoliac and we where talking about that and i was saying i need to use the other road to get back home i got my shopping then went to murgatryods on my way home for a fish and sat in the.car.and had my dinner then drove home got everthing out of my car and got inside put my shopping away and fell asleep again it is 22.19pm and i have woke up crying beacuse i miss my husband and feel.i need him more know than ever before and i know the minute i go into the bedroom i will be wide awake oh god how i wish he was here with me not in spirit but really here never thought i could miss someone so much and that this pain will never go i really really need him wish we had kids i might feel.so much better knowing that somone is still here for me as that hospital visit today was a lonely one like every where i go is lonely that is why i do not go out much as if someone was with.me i would feel better but thats never going to happen so i only go.out once a week for shopping then back home i do miss him dearly and i do wish he was still here
Sweetlady missing her guy so much
