Lost my husband of 33 years three months ago to cancer I’m struggling and I feel I’m going backwards. Instead of forward
I thought I was getting a little better, but the grief is is back as bad ever I’ve been really trying to be. positive but it’s not helping
I just feel so sad
My husband had been in a lot of pain for the past three years but because of Covid he wasn’t able to physically see his GP it was all phone consultations
He was ent for X-rays etc and the. diagnosis was severe arthritis
In May of this year he took a bad turn and was rushed too hospital where they said at first it was Sepsis but that changed pneumonia; after that it was all downhill He had lost a lot of weight and was very weak he also had trouble swallowing
At the end of July he had n endoscopy which showed a tumour in his Oesophagus He was then sent for a CT scan
Two days later we met with a Consultant who said he had Cancer in his Lung liver and Oesophagus and also at base of his spine
Shock was an understatement Treatment would not work Only Palliative care He died 3 months later
I know how you feel lost my husband to cancer four months ago was told after him fighting it for nearly one and a half years that chemo was not working and they put him on Palliative care broke my heart knowing i was going to loss him hate cancer my Mum lost her battle with cancer 3 years ago and what i find so hard it was the same cancer my husband had
I think I’m just really angry that he didn’t stand a chance
It’s just hard isn’t it? I wonder if I’ll ever feel better but at the moment I can’t see it
@Mumcon
You’ve really been through the mill haven’t you?
My loss was so different in that it was sudden of a seemingly fit husband.
Either way is difficult and comes with it’s own set of regrets but I think it must be extra hard if you believe something else could have been done.
It’s still early days I would say and grief is such an unpredictable animal. We can all see factors in common but our winding paths are different.
I hope you have some better days soon and that this site can give you some support. There are many good people on here to listen and empathise.
Sending hugs xxx
I know how you feel i feel angry i keep thinking why him what did he ever do wrong i feel the same way with my mum i keep thinking was it her age as she was 79 and it seemed as if the hospital gave up on her see was not offered any treatment
I know how you feel @Mumcon, my partner had a swollen, leg & she went to the doctors & they said it was cellulitis so gave her antibiotics on a Friday, by the Monday she was suffering badly with her breathing so went back & they gave her different antibiotics, three month she suffered with her breathing & they did nothing & she died in November with a pulmonary embolism which was from the leg that they didn’t diagnose. Some health professionals shouldn’t be in their jobs; she could be here now via simply diagnosing her properly! I can’t get my head around her never being here & never doing anything together ever again, it’s killing me & I so wish I could be with her as I’ve died inside myself.
Emz
I’m so sorry. It feels like some health professionals don’t put themselves in the patients shoes and try their best to think of the worst outcome for them. If a member of their family was ill would they fob them off with antibiotics and not be thorough finding out the root cause of their illness.
@Amylost & that was the shortened version. I went in with her on 3 separate occasions & it’s as if they didn’t care. We’ve become such a self centred world; it’s so nice having here to come to because we all have empathy which seems to be lacking elsewhere!!
I just feel he was let down by badly Instead of seeing him all he got was nerve ending pills and so on As I said previously he was sent for X Rays and they checked his arteries, but how can they diagnose someone without seeing ( he did go for his health check in March last year and he was losing weight , they weighed him and said to him Keep up the good work you’ve lost over 2 stone!!!)
Now I’m left with a broken heart, I think because I was so busy nursing him in the last 3 months it has taken me this time to process things things I think the reality is kicking in
It’s just so awful I know exactly how your feeling
You hear the phrase I could scream Well I’ve had many a scream into my pillow at night Sometimes I feel as if everything is going wrong
@Mumcon I am so sorry for your loss. It is so frustrating when you can see your loved one suffering but no one is listening to your concerns. I know what those screams feel like, I have done that many times usually when I’m in the car when no one can hear me. It’s coming up to twelve months since my lovely husband died and I still feel no different. I hope you can find some peace in your life.x
