I lost my husband on the10th December. He was everything to me we have been together for forty years and we did everything together. I am completely lost with out him. The grief is too much to bear. I really don’t know how I am going to go on. My heart is broken 
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Hi @Cristakell so sorry for your loss. It’s very early days for you and I know your feelings and emotions are all over the place. I’m 15 weeks in and it’s still very raw for me. Talking on here really does help and I hope in time you will find comfort on here.x
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Hi @Cristakell
I am very sorry for the loss of your Husband. I lost my Wife of 31 years Anna to Cancer at the start of November. I like you spent all my time & did everything with my Wife, we were inseparable. She was the Love of my Life, my Soulmate and my Best friend.
I am devastated that she’s gone & I’ll never see her again. I am finding the grief very hard to deal with also, it’s the loneliness that makes everything ten times worse.
I have no Family other than my Son and Daughter who are experiencing the difficulties of grief also so i have nobody to talk to about my feelings.
I am awaiting some counselling in the New Year although i have no idea how long I’m going to have to wait.
It’s a really strange feeling but even though I’m seven weeks on from her passing, it still doesn’t seem real to me & I’m still expecting her to come through the door from Work or Shopping. I feel like i have been robbed of my entire life, the sadness & feelings of helplessness is all consuming, i have no focus on the future & i just find myself drifting through each day just sat with my Wife’s ashes talking to her, crying & asking all the usual " Why " questions. I know it’s still early days for me & everything is still very raw but I’m not coping very well at all & really can’t see any point in anything anymore without my Anna. I am completely broken. We raised 2 wonderful children & have 2 gorgeous little Granddaughters who i absolutely adore & i managed to spend some time with them over the holidays.
I had a particularly rough time of it over Christmas & just about managed to get through Christmas day at my Daughter’s without having a full on breakdown but that wouldn’t have been fair on her & my Son in Law so i kept my mask up for their sake. As soon as i was home that evening i broke down & spent the next 24 hours a sobbing wreck. I hope you manage to start dealing with things better than i have been doing, we all have to manage with things in our own way & hopefully you have support from Family & Friends to shoulder some of your burden.
I wish you well going forward & hopefully you can start to see a light at the end of the tunnel sooner rather than later.
Love & Hugs xx
Derek 
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Hi @VillaBoy22,
I am truly sorry for the loss of your wife Anna. Come January it will be two years since my wife Christine died.
I completely understand all the feelings you describe, could have written them myself. It sounds to me that you are actually dealing with things perfectly normally, as well as can possibly be expected under these most terrible circumstances of loss. Quite frankly, you are managing to get through these horrendous early days. So what if you weep for hours, so what if you have a full on breakdown? You loved your wife deeply. Truly, how could your feelings at the moment be anything other than what they are? Those who have not experienced this type of loss can have any idea as to the strength that you are exhibiting just by simply getting through these days.
Be compassionate and forgiving to yourself, don’t expect too much of yourself. Maybe try to resist the pull to live up to the expectations of others as to how you should be coping or even how you think you ought to be coping.
This is an utterly horrendous time for you. Surviving, just getting by is enough.
Best wishes to you. Remember (when you can), that you are stronger than you think.
Simon x
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@JerryH
Thank you for taking the time to write such kind & considerate words.
Sorry to hear that you lost your beautiful Christine also my friend.
It is a truly Shitty world that we live in.
I will try to take on board all you have shared with me, after all we are all reliant on help & advice from others who have been in a similar position to us.
I don’t know what is classified as normal anymore as my life has been irreversibly changed by the loss of my Anna.
I can only take things hour by hour, day by day & hope that things improve as time progresses.
I wish you well my friend & Thank you once again for your positive thoughts & comments.
Look after yourself Simon xx
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