Losing my husband

I think I’m still in shock. I met my husband 12 years ago. He was the love of my life. The kindest man and the best father to our young children. We only just got married Dec 2023 after covid cancelled our wedding in 2020. He was complaining of a pain in his shoulder and was checked out twice but no one could find anything wrong with him. On 31st December I took the children out so he could have a nap and when I returned he was unconscious. I did CPR and called an ambulance but nothing could be done. I’m utterly heartbroken and the grief is raw. I have lots of support. I’m scared of what’s to come as I lost my father in 2019 who was only 55. I know grief and I know how dark it’s going to get. I’m scared of how I will cope with everything! I hope I’ll be strong for my children. Please help me.


Linz8585 I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience when my partner had a cardiac arrest in the night in October last year. Me and my 15-year-old son did CPR but he couldn’t be saved. It is very traumatic and you must still be in shock. So sad both your husband and dad were so young. It’s not fair, is it?. I hope you are surrounded by family and friends. Accept all the help you can get and take it an hour at a time. That’s all you can do at the moment. It will be very hard but your children will help you through this. Sending lots of strength and love your way. Take care of yourself xx


I have also had a similar experience my husband died on the 28th December after a cardiac arrest at home at the end of November. I did CPR but he had suffered a brain injury. It was extremely traumatic and I know I haven’t even processed it all just living hour by hour. He had just come out of hospital after a quadruple heart bypass and we actually thought the worst was behind was, how little did we know. I have 3 children my youngest are 12 and 11 and I just wish I could take the pain away from them. I am trying not to look too far ahead into the future as it terrifies me the thought of being without the love of my life and how I’m going to cope. I’m just taking each day as it comes as that is all I can cope with. Just know you’re not alone it’s helped me finding this site and others who are or have gone through the same thing. Sending hugs and strength xxx


I am so sorry for your loss, my story is exactly the same as yours, sudden cardiac arrest at home (at night), CPR, hospital, brain injury. My partner never recovered consciousness due to brain hypoxia and passed away after a week and a half in hospital. I was in shock for a few weeks after it happened, couldn’t eat or sleep. The pain for me and my son of not being able to say goodbye… It is the most awful thing and you feel grief for both yourself and your children :broken_heart: Sending hugs and strength your way xxx


@Linz8585 I am so sorry for your loss… you will be in shock and will continue to be in shock for a while. I lost my husband suddenly and unexpectedly last Christmas. He was 53 years old. I also did CPR on him but couldn’t save him. He died of a massive rear saddle pulmonary embolism and undiagnosed kidney cancer. We had no idea and my husband was working the day before. Take one hour at a time, baby steps. Keep talking and reaching out. Cry and scream when you need too. Such a unfair and cruel life. You are still very early days, be kind to yourself. Big hugs xx


I’m so sorry for your loss I can relate to your pain I lost my beloved fiancé last July he was 51 met him 3 years ago on Facebook neither of us was looking we fell in love I went everywhere with him as he was a DJ loved his music he became poorly 2 months prior his passing went hospital as he was diabetic and had a hypo which I thought was a seizure he even worked the weekend before but complained of a belly ache and was coughing he had appointment with doctors they Friday week one minute we were talking on the phone next he was gone my whole world turned upside down I feel lost and alone but knowing I can reach out to this group has helped me a little just take step by step day my day my friends say I’m so strong it just learning to cope with the grief and knowing he will always be with me thank you for reaching out it’s not easy but be proud that you have we are all here for each other your not alone x


Hi Linz, I’m so very sorry for your loss.

Your experience sounds similar to mine, me and my hubby had been together 10 years married for 8, he was my best friend and the love of my life.

On 22 December my world was shattered when we were in bed and he started to make a funny noise, i managed to turn him over he was a lead weight and i quickly realised something was wrong and his lips were turning blue. I called 999 and attempted to do CPR, paramedics came and tried for 30 minutes before they pronounced him dead on the landing floor upstairs outside my 12 year old sons bedroom. Hes left me with our 2 boys 12 and 5 years old.

I have no words of advice as i am equally as lost and devastated as you but i wanted to let you know you’re not alone and that your in my thoughts :heart: Be kind to yourself xxx