Losing my husband

My husband passed away in a house he was sorting out for probate. He was found by a person collecting a item and a ambulance was called. They tried to rescucitate him but were unable too. He was pronounced dead at the scene. A police officer came to my house to inform me, but i was asleep upstairs as i had finished a night shift earlier. He was only 63 years old. With no heart condition known. I am in total shock and dismay. I cant believe i will never see him again! We had been together for 13 years and only got married four months ago. It just doesnt seem real! I keep thinking its a nightmare! I had to give a statement to the police and go to see him at the mortuary. I feel like half of me is missing and i cant seem to sleep i just keep bursting iinto tears. I lost my dad 10 years ago in similiar circumstances i just cant believe that I’m now on my own. Im only 53 and a widow. Its all surreal !


…surreal is a good word…welcome to this club we all never wanted to join…you are amongst friends…use this site…it has been my crutch…so sorry you are here :heart:


I’m so sorry that this has happened. You will be in deep shock as well as grief. It is a nightmare, I experienced similar 3 months ago and it’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.
Breathe deeply, rest as much as you can and do whatever you feel like doing, there is no right or wrong in this dreadful situation.
We are all in this together x


Thank you for your kind words. Im so sorry for your loss. As you say we are all here trying to find our way through this grief. :face_holding_back_tears:


So very sorry.

My husband died unexpectedly and suddenly 9 weeks ago.

No signs or symptoms either.

I understand what you are going through, pain, shock, disbelief.

This is such a good site to write how you feel. No one judges and people listen and really understand.

Sending you a big hug xx

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Thank you for your kind words. Im so sorry for your loss. Its just so hard as you say to make sense of it all. I just keep thinking what if … ! If he hadnt gone out that morning! Mine is also more complicated by other things i have since found out. Which is making it even harder to move on. My head is spinning with it all. Its making me feel very disappointed in my husband. Which is something i dont want to feel. I loved him and he meant so much to me. But because of other things ive found out, that is tainting what we had. How do you deal with that ?


That is something that I have not had to deal with.

I have read of others on this site who have. I hope they get in touch with you.

I can only say, I suppose I would feel the same as you at the moment.

I think probably I would deal with it as I would deal with grief and bereavement.

It is a loss, a loss of the idea of the husband you thought you knew.

I would give myself time and if I’m honest, do things so that I’m not thinking about that all the time. I would probably question what I found out, was it really the case?

I am so sorry this has been added to your pain.

Please continue to communicate with people on this site. I think somebody, probably more than one, will contact you having been through this themselves.

Take care.x

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I’m so sorry for your loss. We here all understand and are here to listen.
I didnt lose my husband suddenly but we only had 6 weeks to come to terms with it. And I still haven’t. We’d been together for 42 years but time is immaterial, its the love that counts.
Please don’t be afraid to post anything on here, we’re all in the same boat and nobody will judge you.

Take care
Sending hugs

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Thank you, everyone is so kind and understanding on here. Which helps you feel, that your not alone. Nobody i know understands how i feel. The last few weeks i have had so much to sort out. I only have my 3 kids who are all grown up and have their own lives. :hugs:

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How very sad to have had such a short time together since your wedding day but that will eventually become one of your lovely memories to cherish. My thoughts are with you at this very sad time

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