I don’t even know what to write here…im struggling…my Gorgeous husband passed on 11th May after a cancer diagnosis last June…never even after being given terminal diagnosis in March did i ever think id be on my own…my heart is broken…I cant get through a day without crying…Ive not only lost my best pal…safety net and champion …Ive lost myself . I have a very close family unit …but i feel so alone…every day is a struggle and I feel i should be coping better…43 years we were together…its would have been his 65th birthday this Saturday…trying my best but its so hard
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Hi @Zena - it’s such a short time since he passed it’s not surprising you are struggling.
It’s so hard when you get a terminal diagnosis as you need to keep going but the shock and horror of it all is difficult to process.
You have got a lot to deal with at the moment so don’t expect too much of yourself. Just take each hour or day at a time and try not to look too much into the future.
It’s good you have a support network but I understand the loneliness you feel when the person you turn to in difficult times is no longer there.
Make sure you look after yourself and try to eat and get some rest.
Keep Posting on here - I find it helps to know others are feeling the same and you are not alone. Lots of support and understanding here whenever you need it.
Sending strength and a hug xx
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I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. Everyone here is in the same boat, we’ve all lost a loved one so we know how you feel. I lost my husband 4 months ago unexpectedly I still cry constantly and I too feel like I should be coping better. I was told by a counsellor that self care is what I should be doing, and in my mind if that is crying then cry. Take one day at a time, your husbands birthday will be hard. I’m not sure how but we get through all the first anniversaries, your family will help you, look after yourself xx
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My husband died sudden heart attack age 65 on the 15/4/24 he had a small heart attack 21 years earlier when he was 44 didn’t have any surgery and was put on medication, it was always in the back of my mind he could have another heart attack but I actually didn’t ever think it would kill him, it was such a shock when it happened one min he is taking to me the next he is on the living room floor having CPR he was more than my other half he was my three quarters ! I don’t know what to say apart from it’s SHIT isn’t it x
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I am so sorry for your loss Zena. I lost my partner suddenly on 21 April and although I know now he isn’t coming back, I still find it difficult to believe. Our whole lives have changed instantly and our hopes and dreams vanished. It is so difficult to bear.
Just take each day hour by hour and try and not think about the future. ( it’s too much to get your head around and there doesn’t feel like there is one).
Keep posting on this site. It’s been a lifeline to me and it’s the only place where people understand. xx
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Oh @Zena
Im sorry for your loss
Its very early days yet so please be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time.
We too had a terminal diagnosis, although we didn’t know up to then that he had cancer, then 6 short weeks later he was gone. So no time to process it.
It will be a struggle but gradually you will learn to live with it.
Tears are good, I still have tears everyday, some more than others, and I’m 17 weeks in now.
Please keep posting on here, we all know what youre going through and feel your pain
Sending big hugs 
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Thank you all for taking the time to reply to my post. Its a difficult one to articulate as I wish none of us were in the situation we find ourselves in…however knowing that you are all understanding my loss is at least feeling like im not on my own feeling this way . Some friends and family ask how I am and I know they want me to say Im Ok as it then makes it easier for them. But Im far from Ok and find in exhausting …Im extremely lucky as my kids both stay at either side of me. But I feel they are seeing too much if my raw grief and need to be able to deal with their own. Again thankyou for replying and I hope you all have a decent day x
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We’re all here for you.
We really do understand and won’t expect too much or judge you
This is a safe place
I agree when people ask how we are they don’t really want to know the truth because they can’t
cope with it. So us saying ok makes it easier for them.
And it is exhausting, physically and emotionally. Its normal.
The rawness you feel will get easier.
I can’t say that the pain will ever go away but you will learn how to cope.
At the moment just take baby steps, one day at a time.
Love and big hugs
Liz x
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You’re doing ok!
Crying is normal, you’ve had such a massive loss, a huge shock.
Keep talking, keep crying, just do whatever you need to do, whatever comes naturally.
You might not want to think about your husband’s birthday or you might want to find your own way to celebrate it.
Whatever you choose, it’s right for you x
Hugs
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