Hi,
I lost my husband on valentines day this year. I wondered if anyone else is going through the same emotions as me? I feel really sad one minute and can then feel really angry with him or really guilty all on the same day.
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I lost my husband last Valentine’s Day ironically we really didn’t celebrate the day but I find it a cruel reminder that he went on a day that’s associated with couples and joy and happiness… I do still have the awful washing over with adrenaline feeling where I get so stressed he’s not here or will ever be. That’s a difficult one to get your head round but I’ve got grandkids and if not for them I’d be in a corner just bubbling
Hoping you find some peace XxX
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I think that’s pretty normal. At least I hope it is because that is how I feel too. I am devastated that he has gone, then I wander around the house, getting angry that he left me alone. He always felt sad that I had lost one husband suddenly. And I am angry that he went and did the same to me. Of course then I feel guilty because I know that he didn’t want to die. I also feel guilty that I couldn’t save him, that my efforts at CPR were not good enough. That he lived for 3 weeks in a coma, only to have life support turned off, that I was not with him when he took his last breath, and on and on and on.
I think everyone here manages to find a reason to feel guilty, yet none of us were guilty of anything.
Of course you are sad, of course you are angry, and of course you feel guilty. It’s all part of grieving.
Sending you a big hug. X
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Thanks for your reply but my guilt comes from a different place. He died from sepsis which took him in 12 hours in the end. But he already had cirrhosis. I tried for years to stop him drinking but he never admitted he had a problem and just thought I was a killjoy. My guilt is that I never managed it, and so many of you have lost loved ones where you tried everything to save them. I would give anything to get one more chance to stop him. That’s also where my anger is coming from, that it was self inflicted.
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Kaz05 normal emotions
sorry for your loss I know How you are feeling . I am 17 months and I still miss him so much
big hug
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There is so much self blame coming out here
I can identify with the feelings of guilt and
Frustration
I am angry that the hospital failed to realise that he was at the end of life and put us through a ridiculous reablement package of care which was cruel to both of us
But it’s done he was dying from dementia complications which is what took him
But please don’t beat yourself up about your CPR skills as even if it had been the paramedics doing it the outcome would probably have been the same
As for an alcoholic husband , again it was not your fault that he didn’t stop
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I lost my husband 7 years ago suddenly and unexpectedly and it was gis brothers birthday now on the 1st aug i came home to find my partner of almost 4 years had ended his own life , im heartbroken, numbz angry and a total mess and dont know what tp do. I am so sorry for your loss.x
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How awful for you I am so sorry you had to go through all that x
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That is truly awful and no words can really help you
Do you have any support from family and friends ?
MIND can be contacted or the Samaritans
I don’t know where you live but St Christophers Hospice has a bereavement counselling service open to all
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That’s awful,I don’t know what to suggest but hope you find some peace soon.