Hi I’m really struggling on a day to day basis I work and come home and go to bed hoping when I wake up I’ll feel better but just carnt seem to find a solution to this hell I’m living in
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I’m so sorry for your loss. There are no words which really help with the hurt in the early days. I’m nearly two years on from losing my wife of 47 years and I remember the awfulness then. It really is one day at a time and be kind to yourself. Whatever you feel will be valid and felt by many others on this site. They offered me great support and understanding, I’m sure you will find that too. The grief doesn’t go away but you learn to live with it. Love and support.
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I didn’t realise that sadness felt this way. It is beyond anything I could ever have comprehended. I get through one day at a time. It is 11 weeks, I find it so difficult!! Is this what my life will be.
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You are right, grief on losing your life partner is beyond understanding if you have not experienced it. That is why talking to others who have and sharing is so important. Your life will grow gradually and the grief won’t go away but will become a smaller part of it. You feel now that you will never smile or feel happiness again but shafts of light will appear. There is no timetable and grief is not linear, it is back and forth. Everyone is different but the pain is the same. In two years time you may look back and, like me, think not only how did I survive but how did I get this far. Life always gives as well as takes away, just be ready when it does. None of us chose this new life, all of us would want our old one back, but we do learn to live it. Good luck on your journey.
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Thank you for your wise words. I have been unwell the last few days and his loss has really hit me!! I miss him so much.
I’m 13 weeks since M died.
I too was ill two weeks ago and felt my loss profoundly. I think not having my person looking out for me hit me very hard, being a lone parent without support also ment I had no time to be ill, a tough lesson learnt.
Yet I survived, somehow .
The sadness of grief is so challenging, but the pockets of profound sadness that can hit at anytime with out warning , is the worst.
I find keeping busy, trying to be social and lots of walking get me through my days.
Some days are happy and joyful without overwhelming sadness . Some are debilitatingly sad. I try to go with it if I can.
I’m trying to find a new focus which is just mine. I let myself go during my husbands illness, comfort eating definitely my issue.
Perhaps I’ll try and rectify that, have a goal and purpose again rather than just a widow, single parent.
That’s what I can hear my husband telling me. His mantra was ‘it’s sh&t but we’ll be okay’ right to the end. Live life fully, but for me sadness will always be present, hopefully more manageable as time goes by as others have said., beautifully put by @Mike75 .
Look after yourself @Johnston0162 and @Mbg -drink and eat regularly , get out for a bit of green therapy if you can and rest
Love to you all
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The sadness presses down on me, and I ask myself what am I feeling sadness for. And I realise that in particular it is for all the lost opportunities and experiences - my husband was only 67 and as I try to navigate my way through life on my own, I am sometimes just hit by waves of sadness of what will never be. I work away from home but I wish I could get a dog - my husband always wanted one but our work prevented us … Sending hugs to everyone. These feelings of utter devastation haven’t diminished - I know it is still early days, but they are heavy …
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R was 61. We must have thought we were invincible!! We talked about anything and everything, but never death!! Tears are never far away. Sending hugs. I have 4 dogs