Hello I lost my husband yesterday and feel so overwhelmed looking for any tips how to get through this x
I lost my husband on 3rd oct and my brother on 4th sept both this year. Ive had lots of help from people on this chat group. One lady suggested doing 5 small things a day, eg a load of washing, emprty bins, wash up, make the beds. Just 5 things a day, 35 things in a week, make a list and tick them off. You could also make tiny change around the house. Move the chair your husband sat in so you don’t have the constant reminder when you see an empty space, new bedding, etc. Everyone copes in different ways, hope things get easier for you, sending hugs and support x
Hi groovygranny
Just take the emotions as the come and allow yourself to grieve.
I find just allowing the tears to come when im on my own soothes the ache. We all grieve differential there is no write or wrong way to do it.
Hugs 
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I’m thinking of moving my husband’s chair, seeing it empty when he was always in it is soo hard. Good idea to do a little bit each day.
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You will be in severe shock at first. I am still in shock 9 weeks on. I don’t tell myself I have to do anything I just see how I am. Unfortunately I have to spend all my day out of the house as home is too painful. The tears come wherever I am, you can’t stop them. No point trying, you just have to go with however you are at the moment.
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Oh lovely i feel your pain, i lost my husband a week ago and i don’t know what to do with myself. I’m lost , totally lost. I’m just going with the flow one day at a time. I’ve had my two children staying all week but yesterday, a week on from his passing i sent them away, i needed to be on my own with my thoughts. I’m not thinking too far ahead, planning the funeral will be hard enough so i’m not stressing aboutanything else. I’m finding it difficult to eat - are you managing to eat something and how’s sleeping? My husband passed in our bed and i haven’t been able to change the sheets yet.
There is no right or wrong - just go with what feels best for you. Sending you love and hugs
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I am so very sorry. Yes go with the flow is all you can do. You will be in utmost turmoil. I concentrated on the funeral I had to arrange everything myself and there are so many people to tell, bank accounts to sort etc. Yes I think everyone struggles with food and sleep. In 9 weeks I’m still not eating at home, only out. We all deal with grief differently, I have to get out of the house. I hope you manage to sleep and eat, you can get quite unwell if not careful. But you have children who no doubt will watch out for you. Sending my very best wishes.
Take baby steps, I’m 16 months into this journey and still have days where I want to scream and cry. Make sure you eat and drink. Cry if you need and don’t let anyone tell you what to do, do what you want at your pace. Talk on here we are all here to help and share our own stories on how we have got through each day.
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I’m three weeks in and my husband’s funeral was on Thursday. I feel worse now than before,
I found I had lots to sort and lots to plan and lots of people, now I just feel so alone.
Sometimes I can tell myself that things will get better or he wouldn’t want me to be so sad, but in reality I don’t want to do anything.
I’m so glad there are forums such as this as it helps me to write how I feel and have others understand
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I’m so sorry for your loss. It will be better with time. I still cry my eyes red for no reason, but I’ve learnt that it’s ok 
9 weeks on for me, and I’m struggling so hard, the loss of my beautiful husband, but also the total, complete loneliness. I’m so alone, how can I carry on. It’s too hard, we just had each other, now I’m on my own. Everything is pointless, I just stumble through each day trying to get rid of it, so I can sit in front of the TV all night.
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I’m so sorry Iliveinhope. I understand how you must be feeling. I’m six weeks into this and everyone has drifted away now. I am just left to carry on alone and I can’t bear the loneliness.
I just feel totally forgotten about and that I no longer have a purpose in life. This site is just about the only thing keeping me going.
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I know what you mean, when I say I had a particular bad day I get asked why!!! Maybe because I’ve lost my other half, my everything, my reason for existing,people do not understand at all unless they have had same experience. The loneliness is absolutely crippling me, I feel I am in a bubble on my own. I really cannot stand it. The house is so empty
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So,so sorry for your loss,i lost my hubby last month,what i did at first is cry,get angry,didn’t do anything,if i couldn’t be bothered to do something i wouldn’t do it.You gave to grieve though,don’t bottle it up as you will burst and burnout,but make sure you look after yourself.Take care x
It has been 15 months since my partner died and still I find it very hard to cope with the terrible lonliness, living alone. I try to get out most days but the house is so empty that it is hard to cope. My only suggestion is to do anything to distract your thoughts but that is difficult to do. As everyone says after the first few weeks or months everyone imagines that you are OK and stop visiting. I have no family and very few friends as we did everything together. We were together 41 years and he died very suddenly from a massive stroke. Life is very difficult and my heart goes out to anyone going through this.
Yes it’s the loneliness that’s so hard to cope with, and the empty house. I struggle to get distracted but I must try harder. Yesterday I was in front of the TV for 10 hours, from afternoon till 1am.
I really could not bottle it up, it doesn’t matter where I am, who I am with if I have to cry I have to
I really think not having family and very few friends which is also my position is very very hard at this time. I’ve seen other people with their adult children and it seems so very nice. So we feel the loneliness so much
Lost12, I am lucky to have family and friends not too far away but it doesnt stop the loneliness. I’m alone in a crowd, feeling like a gooseberry if I go out. I lost my husband on 3rd October, he was my rock, my best friend, half of me. No amount of company can make up for the vast void his death has made in my life. Life might be going on around me but I dont think I’ll ever be able to join in again. How do we all manage to carry on when we’re all suffering so much?
I do jigsaw puzzles to distract me but even that does not always work. I am not good with my own company but trying hard to get used to it. It does not seem 15 months since his death because my lonliness is not getting any easier.