My mam had been diagnosed with dementia during covid & because of this the support she needed and we need as a family was not available and she declined …my mam and i were the bestest of friends she was always there for me …always on the phone always meeting up going shopping i suppose doing all the typical mam daughter things…i always thought that dementia had taken my mam away from me especially the last 2 years because she had changed so much i realise now since she passed away with dementia & bowel cancer in November 2024 that this was not the case i know now that i have lost her and it is the greatest pain i have ever experienced more so since after her funeral …i was so busy getting everything perfect for her as my last gift to her and now i feel like im expected to just get on with things and that i shouldnt be feeling so sad? so lonely with my sadness (i have an older brother but we are total opposites and he doesnt show emotion so i feel i cant show mine to him ) i still have trouble sleeping, screaming out at night and i feel so tired because of it…i feel like i think of her constantly…i cry all the time sometimes quite randomly …i have the best husband and children and my dad is also still grieving mam and i am his support, sometimes i feel i have to hold back my emotions to him because i dont want to upset him anymore than he already is.
My work have been great do far, they gave me compassionate leave and now i have been given a sick note for a further 2 months from my gp …i dont feel ready to go back to work but i have this guilty feeling that i should (no one has said anything to me), but i also realise that its not my time because i have so much emotion, i feel like i havent had that big release of my emotions that big cry yet, i have tears yes but not that release does that make sense to anyone ? Do i go back earlier or should i just go with my emotions ??
X
Hi @Mrspops,
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community. I’m so sorry about your mam. I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take good care,
Seaneen
So sorry for your loss. I lost my Mam 2022 and it’s devastated and broken me, I’m still not right. Feels like I never will be. I had 4 months off work. Go with what is right for you. Sending hugs
My heart goes out to you. I lost my mum in 2022. Not a day goes by that i want to hear her voice, get a hug and just tell her i love her. I fully understand how youre feeling. I may be 52, but i still feel like that wee girl who wants her mummy.
L.xx
I’m so sorry for you too x thankyou for your response x …i feel like no one understands how i feel because my friends haven’t lost a parent, i feel like i’m waiting for them to say to me come on now theres no need to be like this anymore. Im struggling with my memories of mam all i seem to think of is how she had been with dementia and the last few days before she died, my mind feels blocked.
Sending hugs back.
If youre anything like me you probably go through every emotion daily. Theres been days of anger even guilt. Its not nice but i now know its normal.
I dont always get to on on this site much but I’ll always reply if you need me.
Lucy x
Thankyou all for messaging …its a comfort to know im not alone, i haven’t really felt anger for some reason i feel i’ve let my mam down and i have no idea why, maybe its because she always said to me never put me in a care home but as a family we had no choice, my poor father wasn’t physically able to look after her and his mental health and general health was declining because it was so hard for him and my mam needed professional care and i could not give this to her. I dread bedtime but hope that she will come see me but nothing, i long to see her.