Losing my mother at nineteen.

Hi. I lost my mother 4 months ago to cancer.
She was 55, and I’m 19.

I’m still finding it very hard without her, she was my bestfriend.

Doing daily activities is so hard, and doing things is also hard knowing she should be there with me to experience these fun things.
Even going downstairs and seeing her not there every morning is hard.

I live with my dad, who greifs in a way of staying busy, he tries and pushes her passing under the carpet, and gets on with things, which I understand is his way of coping. I have also found out he is talking to other women online from a notification on his phone under ‘dating’ which has made me feel sick, as he has told me personally he’s not interested in talking to anyone for a long time.

However, my way of greiving is talking about her, seeing photos, and being upset missing her, he hates that and starts getting irritated, especially when he sees me low of energy, staying in my room and isolating, which is my way of coping. I feel lost.

I used to be on antidepressants and stopped, and I used to have counselling before her death and dropped it when the therapist told me ‘I cant help you’ for no reason, since then I haven’t bothered with therapy, as it was a bad experience for me, but I know I need help and someone to talk to.

Anyone who has gone through similar experiences I understand you and feel you.

This is a horrible thing, and losing a parent is never easy. Any advice would be appreciated :slight_smile:

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Hi @ren3

So sorry that you’ve lost your mum, and at such a young age as well. :broken_heart:

A lot of people here swear by Bereavement-specific counselling (Sue Ryder, Cruse, your local hospice…) and I’m due to start mine this month or next. I think it could be really helpful. And keep posting here. Do you have siblings and friends who can provide support? :yellow_heart:

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i went through a similar thing when I lost my father. after a while it felt like I was the only one who wanted to grieve by remembering and deeply feeling, everyone else seemed to bury things and push their grief aside. know that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. i know how isolating it is when you grieve differently to your loved ones. i am here about 8 years after my dad died. im now 21 and I can say that you need to be gentle with yourself and know that you’re not alone.

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Hi thank you for your reply :slight_smile: I really appreciate it.
I don’t have any siblings sadly, I do have friends and a partner that helps me through the rough times. I do have a good support system.

I will look into bereavement counselling, I can recognise I’m struggling and definitely need some sort of counselling, her death has still took a toll on me and will forever. She was my biggest supporter and feel so lost without her.

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Hey @twostars thank you for your reply.

That’s definitely what I’m feeling right now too, it feels like I’m the only one still affected.
I completely respect my father’s way of grieving but just wished he was more open with the way I grieve, I’ve always been the person to isolate myself and stay in my room doing things I enjoy. I know a lot of people don’t understand that, I feel like he gets confused and then takes it out on me because I’m grieving this way.

I appreciate your reply, and advice, you’re not alone either :white_heart:

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