Still very early days I know but my mum passed away two days ago, although it was always on my mind as she had been battling dementia for 10 years her passing in the end was very sudden and quick and has hit me for 6. It’s also very strange to suddenly not have any parents. Work so far has been very good, but I’m already stressing about the possibility of having to take an extended absence. As she passed in a care home everything has to go through the medical examiner and possibly coroner because of the Harold Shipman case, which could potentially hold the funeral up considerably. I think I would really struggle if I had to return to work before her funeral, but the longer it takes I know I will feel guilt for not being in work because of staff shortages. I work in a very stressful job with vulnerable young people where I constantly have to be on the ball. Also I’m finding it difficult to concentrate and am being very impatient which isn’t me. Has anyone else been in a similar situation, should I feel guilty for staying off longer than the usual 5 days bereavement period and possibly self certification days. I don’t want people to think I’m taking advantage or exploiting the situation. Also my husband bless him is encouraging me to get out and about which is an excellent distraction including going for a quiet drink which we do in normal circumstances, but I’m scared colleagues may see me and again think I am exploiting the situation. Any advice or anyone who is or has been in a similar situation I would appreciate it.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom 
I lost both my parents within 6 months of each other, my mom to dementia and then my dad quite unexpectedly.
On both occasions I knew 5 days leave wouldn’t be enough to both grieve and to organise everything.
Don’t feel guilty, just speak to your doctor, explain the situation and they will happily sign you off work for a month. They’ll also extend that if you still don’t feel ready to go back. I went back after a month and found the distraction a help mentally but am also well aware that grief is a long rollercoaster of emotions. Do what you need to do for you.
I hope you can eventually find some peace and comfort in the happy memories you have from times gone by.
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