Losing my mum and feeling guilty

I have recently lost my mum on 19th January. My mum was took into hospital on 26th Dec as she was seeing things and was always asleep. The Dr said she had a mini stroke but MRI showed old mini stroke too . My mum had many medical things going on kidney failure,diabetes,spondylitis.it was only this week that I was going to bring her home and care for her at home . I was her career too for 4 years. The hospital rang me early hours of the morning and told me my mum was deteriating I just shook all over my legs were like jelly .when I got to the hospital my mum had already passed away I just cried and said I wanted to be with her when she took her last breath. My head is just constantly fuzzy and can’t get her out of my mind. I feel guilty for doing normal things and guilty if I laugh. I feel I should be doing nothing and just being sad . I do suffer from anxiety and on sertraline and my anxiety is prob heightened the Dr has prescribed me some sleeping tablets which helps me sleep. I just constantly feel empty and guilty for carrying on as normal.:sob:


Hi @Mazza5,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. Despite knowing she had health issues you always hope and think they’ll get through it and will just always be there x

I believe feeling guilty of surviving them is very common and everytime I kind of forget and do something ‘normal’ I too then feel guilty as they will never watch their favourite tv programme, go on holiday etc again.

Give yourself time and be kind to yourself as this tragedy is so recent for you. Laugh when you can and don’t feel guilty as it does help a little.

Do you have any support to help you through these times be it family, friends etc?

If you’d like to share a few memories of her when you feel up to it myself and others will be here.

Take care,

Suzanne x

Hi i’m very sorry to hear about your loss my mum passed away a few months ago to pancreatic cancer it was quite sudden but i cared for her at home and even though i could see she wasn’t well i was not prepared for her dying . It still does not feel real to me and i feel guilty worry if i should have done more to care for her .

So i do understand how you feel but please be kind to yourself and don’t feel guilty someone told me my mum would want me to be strong but i think being strong puts too much pressure on so i’d suggest being kind to yourself instead try listening to music that helps me .