Losing my mum and visiting her grave and coping

I lost my mum on the 17th May. I have had a tough time. She was 90. I lived with her 50 years. Her only daughter. I didn’t know how I would survive without her. I’m taking it steady one day at a time. I am on my own every day.

Some days are better than others. Definitely keeping busy is the key. My moods change from day to day. Today is a good day.

Most days (apart from today and at the weekend when it has been pouring with rain), I visit the cemetery. We have such a lovely cemetery here. I sit in the Remembrance garden (as in the photo) and say a prayer. Mum is buried in the cemetery, close to the hedge and field in a beautiful peaceful place next to my dad. It is so calming there. Squirrels, birds, loads of insects, butterflies and dragonflys. I can’t think of a more beautiful place to be. I am sure my prayers are helping me through me. I am not a religious person, but I have found some comfort in prayers, and having a chat with mum (and dad) when at the cemetery.

Blessings to all who are going through this pain. x


I miss mine too. she is with my father, in Texas and in Norway. At least, you had a wonderful parent and I am sure she knew how much you loved her. that is gratifying for both.


Hi, this does look like a very beautiful and peaceful place. I find nature is very healing when you are trying to manage grief. Having my Mum’s special pot to look at and tend to in my garden has been strangely comforting to me. I also have little vases of flowers near a lovely framed photo of me and her in my front room. I think, whatever brings some solace has to be good in such emotional times…xx


I fully understand your pain, I lost my mum 3 weeks ago and I go to the cemetery several times a week and find it comforting. It’s early days and today for me has been a good day


I visit the cemetery too , and feel so sad. My mum passed in June and now Christmas is looming missing her so much more, I feel guilty too as I wasn’t there when she passed. I can’t seem to find any peace….

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@Ann7 the grief goes in phases as they say… The first Christmas is going to be a harsh reminder of all we’ve lost. I’m going to try and focus on happy memories and think about what my Mum would want. I hope you find some comfort somehow. Best wishes xx

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Thank you. Feeling very tearful today. But will try and focus on the positive. Mum loved Xmas and especially new year, so will try and enjoy it for her sake and in her memory x

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