I never done this before but I lost my mum 10th October 2017 a month before my 21st birthday. Is it normal 8 years later I’m grieving so intensely whenever I miss her. I don’t know if it’s me getting through basically my whole 20s without her there and finally realising stuff as I’ve got older. As soon as I lost my mum, I went straight on antidepressants and thrown into getting a new home. I became a robot. I then got off antidepressants and just tried my best to work and work to distract myself & make her proud. But I find myself struggling, I will have these struggling weeks slip through. I get these moments where I can’t leave my bed, I cry a lot every day and night. Seeking a connection, to see her again, to hear her voice. I even search through her Facebook, reading posts and photos. Dying to find a photo I haven’t seen yet but I’ve seen them all. I lose all interest in everything and have 0 interest in chilling with friends. Is this normal 
I’m 29 now.. thinking about my future hurts me so deeply that I don’t even wanna think about it so I switch off.
You’re stuck in a rut of your own making. Your mum gave you the greatest gift any person can give, a narrow gap of time in this universe to experience as much of the good you can find. Live your life to the fullest of your abilities. Please take care of yourself.
Hello @Emmy96,
I’m Seaneen, and I can see that you’re new to the community. I just wanted to thank you for sharing this with us. I am so sorry for the loss of mum.
Many of our members have lost their mum and will understand some of what you’re going through. I’m not sure if you’ve seen our Loss as a young adult category, but there you can connect with other members who experienced loss at a young age like you. I’m just going to move your thread there, as it may help other younger members.
In the meantime, you might want to look at our complicated grief page, which talks about long-lasting and intense feelings of grief, which it sounds like you’ve been experiencing. There is lots of help and support out there, and you are not alone.
Please keep reaching out and take good care,
Seaneen
My “own making” ?
During grief, remembering painful moments of the past invites depression. Contemplating the future invites anxiety. Concentrate on the present as it will help in your healing.
I just want to share a gentle reminder that grief is different for everyone. Many people using the community are going through difficult times. Please be supportive and understanding, and respect each others’ feelings and experiences. It might be helpful to read our community guidelines if you’re ever unsure.