I recently lost my mum . She was my best friend and the person I lived for . I really don’t know how I am going to live this life without her . The pain is unbearable to the point of no return . She has been my rock through life. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 19 years old and my mum 2 weeks ago . I’m 36 now and I just feel like this life is too hard to go on without her . I just wanted to reach out to anyone who had lost a parent and could offer any advice really .when I lost my dad I had my mum and I have my siblings and they are helping a lot especially my sister but I just feel so lost without her Amy xx
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Hello @Amy234,
I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your mum that brings you here.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
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Our Losing a parent - coping with the death of a parent | Sue Ryder pages can help with what you are going through.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
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Hi Amy (I am also called Amy btw 
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve lost you mum (and dad, longer ago). I know the pain you’re talking about - it is real pain and feels so hard to survive. You will get through it although it really doesn’t feel like it now.
I lost my mum five years ago and my memories of those early months are of a mix of agony and emptiness. I was totally unprepared for how extreme the pain was but also how meaningless life felt after it happened. I think in a strange way I held on by kind of giving in to the pain for a long time (or what felt like a long time) because that’s what made me feel connected to my mum. Gradually I found I was able to let grief take a back seat but in some ways (and I don’t know if this makes any sense!) I miss the raw emotion of those early days because it was closer to the last time I saw her. I think I’ve learnt to live with the pain but sometimes I have to work hard to reconnect with it, when I haven’t had a cry for a while and can’t work out why I feel so bad. It comes and goes - I am still adapting, even five years on and life has shown me many new things that I’m glad I held on for.
I’m sure you have much experience of grief, with having lost both parents. But it must be a new thing to be going through it without your mum. I’m glad to hear about your siblings. I wouldn’t have made it without my sister.
Just know you’re not doing anything wrong by feeling as much as you feel - in a weird way those feelings will get you through to a point when they feel more like a memory, less raw. But it is truly the worst pain now and I understand completely.xx
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Hello Amy , I’m sorry for your loss of your mum too. It really is the hardest thing to go through . Thank you for your advice. I agree I feel like some day I think about her every minute and some days when I don’t think about her as much, I feel so guilty. I know grief is a very long and heartfelt road . I will always hold onto the memories me and my mum made together and would love to be at the point where I think of her and have a sense of happiness and not pain. I do really appreciate your message back . Amy xx
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