Hi all. I lost my beautiful mum who was also my best friend just over 14 months ago and it feels harder now than ever before. I cant put into words how broken i am. I feel so lonely and isolated without her. I don’t have any other proper friends. I saw her every single day and phoned at least twice a day. How am I supposed to go on without her? I am married and have 2 grown up children but I feel like they don’t understand me at all. Even when I look like I am having a good day it just means that I am able to act ok that day better than another day but inwardly I just want to sit and cry. I cant see the point of me accessing counselling because it wont bring my mum back and thats what I want. I know nothing will bring her back. I just cant see the point of anything anymore.
My mum was the person that believed in me, my happy and safe place. I loved her so much. She was only 71 and now I am so afraid of something happening to my dad. I look at him and he looks so alone and has lost his sparkle. J want to help him but my life jacket is completely deflated. I don’t know what to do or how to go on. I pray every night to not wake up. My dad and my husband tell me I am being selfish because that would be unfair on my children but they have their own lives and don’t need me anymore. I know no one has a magic wand to make me feel better but I just needed to say how I am feeling. Loneliness is a horrible place to be. X
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Trio - I’m so sorry you lost your mother. I lost mine 6 months ago and I too don’t know how to keep going - I just know that she would want me to keep going and be happy so I am keeping on going and hoping for better times.
My family don’t want to talk about her (that is their way of coping) and have also told me the dread words of pull yourself together. Not that I’m recommending shouting but in the end I shrieked at them do you seriously think if I could pull myself together I wouldn’t?
I have in the end gone for counselling as at least there I am able to speak honestly about how I feel and to talk about my mother without being told there’s no point in talking about it. I do find it so much easier to be able to speak about her and how I am feeling with someone who doesn’t judge.
It might be worth considering? If you think you might want to consider this I suggest you go on a waiting list now. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to- but getting on a waiting list now (there’s usually a wait) would keep your options open. Hang on in there and hugs from someone who knows how it feels. J
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Hello Trio, I think that time is insignificant when we have lost our Mums. We have known them our whole lives. I lost my Mum very unexpectedly 6 months ago. I lived with my Mum my whole life and when I stop and think the impact hits me. I have so many emotions as well as it being surreal at times. Someone very early on (who had lost his Mum) told me he would not waste everything his Mum had instilled in him. I vowed from that day that I would continue to shine her love in the world by living the best life I could. My Mum had done so much for me and loved me so much, she always wanted me to be happy. I think your Mum would want the same for you. I am accessing bereavement counselling. I was in such a state that I knew that I needed something. It has helped me in ways I had no thought it would. It has helped me identify my own resilience and strategies. Take care
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