Hi, I am new to this but I have realised recently that I need some form of support after losing my mum. She was a single parent who always did the absolute best she could when raising me and my brother and have always been so grateful for her. She passed away just over 2 weeks go now after a year long struggle with multiple illnesses including cancer. Since then I have been all over the place with my emotions and have tried not to think about it which then leads to a big breakdown. I feel guilty for not wanting to think about my mum but it all feels too much right now and I don’t know what I should be feeling or even how I’m supposed to process it all.
I think this has come off more as a vent but I would like support on how to navigate it all.
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Hi
Sending condolences. We all need support threw this arwful thing of grief.
I’d suggest some grief counciling and try to keep as busy as possible. Other than that I’m still struggling. I lost my nan who was my everything she had looked after me since a baby, in January and it’s still so raw like it happened yesterday. I miss her so much.
How old was your mum?.
Watching a terminal illness is cruel my nan had dementia and lupus. It was arwful to watch. Is all so hard
Take care.
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Losing your mum is awful, very sorry for your loss. Try not to feel guilty for not thinking about things right now, sure your mum knew you loved her. Being numb is a way of protecting us from the deepest pain.
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Thank you for the message, I hope you’re doing okay too.
She was 53, it was a difficult thing to witness, with all the medication she was on and illnesses she wasn’t very lucid which meant it became very hard to even communicate with her.
It makes me angry and upset to think about as I feel like have been robbed of that time with her too.
I’m sorry you’ve also had to deal with that.
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Yes and don’t worry about trying to push the thoughts away. It’s not you trying to push your mum away it’s a natural process of grief.
I try to do that and then am hit by a wave of sadness. I can’t even look at photos as I crave them times.
The circumstances and the final part hurts as they should have been healthy and enjoying there last moments with us. Illness blurs the good memories it blurs who they were before as it’s the last traumatic thing we remember.The way you describe how she couldn’t fully communicate resonates with myself as my nan couldn’t communicate either this leaves unanswered questions.The memories do slowly come back but in bits.
You are very young to lose your mum. Like me with my nan who was my mum best friend everything.
There is also a Marie curie helpline that is useful and maybe your area has a bereavement group. Like these chats you can see you’re not alone it unfortunately happens to others.
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