Losing my mum

Hi I lost my mum just over a year ago at the young age of 48. She was my best friend and my true soul mate. Her death was so sudden and unexpected. Since her death I’m now sole carer of my disabled sister who has Downs Syndrome. I feel so lost without her and like my life is spiralling out of control. I’ve made decisions I’m not proud of cos I don’t have her here to advise me any more. My relationship just broke down 2 weeks before Xmas because I’m so angry all of the time. I don’t know how to get through day to day life without her. We were together every single day
Thank you for reading


You have come to the right place to talk and share those feelings. There are a growing group of people on here who talk every day about the sudden loss of our mums. We have all found alot of support in each other. First of all, I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my beloved mum suddenly to a brain hemorrhage 6 months ago today.
The pain doesnt get any better and I have no idea how I have got through.
You are doing your mum proud looking after your sister but life must be very hard. Is there any support you could be getting that you arent?
Do you still have your dad?

Cheryl x

Hi, thanks for your message. My dad died when I was 13. I do it all on my own. I don’t get any support from anyone. It’s probably why I’m so angry all the time and haven’t really grieved cos I’m so busy all the time x

I have 4 kids too, 10 year old son, 7 year old son, 5 year old severely autistic daughter and a 1 year old son x

I’m sorry about your dad.
That makes life very hard, know what it’s like without both parents. Its rubbish.
You are doing brilliantly looking after your children and sister. Dont put yourself down.
I can see why you are angry and if I was you I would go to see your GP.
They will be able to help but you need to be honest and tell them you are angry and struggling to cope.
They may also be able to help with other services like help with your sister too? I’m sorry for all you are going through x

Hi Sammy, I’m sorry to hear about your loss. I’d just like to echo what Cheryl has said. There is a lovely group of people here discussing all sorts of aspects of losing their parents and how it has affected them and how they are dealing with life now. I’m another who lost their mum so suddenly and unexpectedly and it’s horrible. I think seeing your GP is good advice as there are various ways that anger could be dealt with, I’m no expert by any means and I totally do not judge you for feeling angry, Anger is a very common emotion and can be made better or worse by so many other factors in your life.
A lot of us here have been extremely close to our mums and often turned to them for support and advice and that makes now even harder to deal with. I’m sorry you have so much on your plate right now but you’ve taken a good step to be here among understand people.
I wish you well, take good care of yourself.

Hi Sammy, I’m so sorry to hear that you have lost your mum and that you’re feeling so angry and your relationship has broken down. It sounds as though you have a huge amount on your plate with four children of your own, as well as suddenly having to take on the care of your sister. It is understandable that you are feeling overwhelmed.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

Sue Ryder also offers online bereavement counselling. This is a free service and sessions are held via
video chat so you can attend from home. Find out more and register: www.sueryder.org/counselling
It sounds as though you could really do with some support caring for your sister as well. Carers Trust, Carers UK or the Scope helpline would be good places to start and get advice on what help you may be entitled to.

Take care,
Community Manager