Losing my mum

I live between the UK and my husband who lives abroad. I was back in Devon to visit my mum who had been unwell but was thankfully getting better. I came on 31st January and overnight she passed away alone in her flat. I discovered her body the next day - it was a traumatic end to her life and something I cannot forget.
I miss her every day and cannot fill the hole in my life. Me and my family were lucky to be able to give her a lovely funeral and wake.
I am now unable to return to visit my husband and son who are abroad, as the borders are now closed. I have my 18 year old daughter with me which is some comfort but I am struggling to stay strong for her as she was in her last year at school which has become a disaster as well.
I know time will help me heal but I wish I could end the sadness in between.

Hi mrsH1,
I’m so sorry to read about your mum. I cant really advise you on how to end the sadness because I dont think it will end.
I think we will just get used to being without them over time. If you leave a flat tyre it doesnt pump back up over time. I lost my mum very suddenly in june and I still cry most days. I’m permanently sad but very slowly I’m learning to live and manage without her.
She lived with me, we went clothes shopping together, pub lunches, watched tv together and she helped me bring up my daughter. She was still seeing my daughter to the bus stop and cooking our tea up till she died from a sudden brain haemorrhage. I’m afraid our lives have changed forever but hopefully we will get comfort from things in time to come. My mum didnt suffer and that is something in this current situation with so many having horrible deaths. What did your mum die of? Was a post mortem required?
Cheryl x

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My mother died of a femeral haemorage, it was traumatic. The hard part was she was getting better after an operation for a blood cllot in her leg. There is an on-going inquest but I doubt there will be a satisfying outcome or answers, nothing will bring her back.

Dear C1971,
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. It is like losing a part of you. I loved spending time with my mum too. She was always there to llsten to me and never judged me, Take care. I think we maybe have to find something to fill the hole. I’m wondering if volunteering is an answer?

I’m just throwing myself into work, my daughter, running the house. My mum did so much to help me that it’s all down to me now. I hope you get the answers you need. X

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Hi MrsH1
I’m sorry for the loss of your mum, and also the unfortunate circumstances you find yourself in with the borders being closed. It must be really hard.
As C1971 says, the sadness will always be there but you learn to manage to get by day by day and eventually it does gets easier. Take care of yourself, it’s important during this time of grief and it’s easy to forget to as well.
Welcome to this wonderful online community where I hope you find some support and comfort from others x

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