Ah, thanks for taking the time to reply. It’s very much appreciated x. My dad and I made a start on going through mum’s possessions yesterday. I was dreading it, but I found quite cathartic. She had such a lot of lovely clothes, shoes and jewellery. Most of it will end up at the charity shop. Honestly, we found it quite amusing how many spare buttons she had collected over the years! In the 3 hrs I was there we managed to only go through her underwear, nightwear and dressing table drawers. That was a minute amount of everything she had. So glad I’m not doing it by myself and we don’t have to clear the house. Many more hours needed !
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Aww I’m keeping my mams clothes I just can’t bare to get rid of any, it doesn’t feel right. My mam had some lovely clothes too, always very smart. Made me laugh when putting the clothes away…she always told me she had “nothing to wear” the wardrobe was full of lovely clothes, some not worn or worn once. Sounds daft but the clothes bring back memories…the clothes match the photos of what she worn at each event like Xmas or someone’s birthday, holidays and I like that. Their just a bit too painful to look at even 8 months on but I like to know that they are there xx
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I couldn’t bare to get rid of all my mums things either, I have all her clothes hanging up, dressing gowns hanging on my bedroom door and rest of her things put away I never will part with them, it may seem strange but it’s my way of having her close to me,
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Im starting on my mums things tomorrow and I am dreading and its bad enough because of her ashes and got to sort them out as well 
xx
It is hard, just take ur time. Don’t throw anything away that u might want later. I’ve got my mams ashes too …at home with me in a beautiful urn. Glad I’ve got them. I do talk to her sometimes xx
Aah thats good news my mum wants to be with my sister who died of cancer nearly 29 yrs ago and my sister is buried in stalybridge so thats where my mum wants to be …but at the moment I’m still struggling trying to come to terms with it all im always feeling low and getting upset over my mum because I cant cope
I feel like that, I’ve just got a new puppy few days ago, I already have 1 dog a 3 year old boy. The puppy is a present Off my mam…she knew we were getting her and had decided on her name etc, Mam said she’d get her for my birthday, but Mam died in March my birthday in July but the puppy still off her. For although I still got the pup like she wanted me to and been busy with her. Last night I lay in bed thinking of my mam it hit me so hard again thinking I’ll never see her or talk to her again. I had to stop thinking about it Cos it was really too much for me xxx
My mam died last week after being diagnosed a week earlier with stage 4 gall bladder cancer. I am absolutely destroyed. I can’t believe it’s real. I cry when I am going to sleep, wake up, during the night, when I’m doing the dishes or feeding the cat. It’s relentless and exhausting and I would do anything for it not to be real. I live alone and just wait for the next wave to hit me. Being with my family is even worse because they aren’t upset like I am. Too busy with the funeral arrangements. They don’t want me to upset them so I stay in the garden. I still don’t believe it and don’t know what to do to make it stop. How do I go through my life without her? I’m shocked, outraged, would trade places with her if I could, cannot bear the pain and know it will not end. She is the only person who really understood my panic attacks and defended me because nobody else does. I feel totally alone in the world without her.
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Aah thats horrible what you are going through …I know what you mean I was and still am exactly the same . I couldn’t get upset infront of the boyfriend or my dad or my brother I had to go out of the way and be on my own because there was no support. The only person that believed in me was my mum and she was the only person that would support me .its like you I feel lost and alone without my mum and find it hard to cope with . But im going to go for counciling to see how I go on
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Hi Christine sorry to hear of ur loss. I know how u feel, I felt the same when my mam first died. Totally devastated, couldn’t handle all the mixed waves of emotions. Ur right u can be washing dishes or feeding cat and u just get a wave over u and start crying. It catches u out the blue. Have u got any friends to support u? It is hard, the hardest thing I’ve been through in my life. U live on ur own like me …so if u find it too hard to do a task like dishes etc don’t do them, do them when u feel bit stronger. I used to think I should be doing this n that …well no I shouldn’t every one is different we do things in our own time, we do things we have to just to get ya through some hard days. Take care here if u need to talk xx