Losing my mum

I’m all new to this but I really need help. My life has been a rollercoaster over the past 18 months- I’m 42 and recently been diagnosed as having epilepsy which in itself is one big change and one I am still struggling with as my whole life has changed. In November 2021 my mum who was only 72 was taking into hospital as she was off her legs and was diagnosed with pneumonia which was treated successfully, she was in hospital for a week and the OT was working with her ready for discharge and was doing really well , however she took a turn for the worse literally in a matter of hours. My dad rang me to say you better come to the hospital now as mum had developed sepsis- I held her hand as she took her last breath- the weekend she was going to be discharged she died very suddenly and unexpectedly as we were getting ready for her to come home. I am really struggling- I was so close to my mum and I worry about my dad as they were married for over 50 years. My husband and in laws just expect me to get on with it and say I’m using my mums death as an excuse to feel down and not wanting to do anything anymore I just feel very alone. My husband has both his parents who are older than mum and very active but they are trying to brush my grief under the carpet and expect me to get on with things. I end up crying alone or in bed once my husband has gone to sleep- I can’t talk to them and I’m so lost


Vicky, I understand totally the place you are in and I am so sorry for you. People who have not experienced the kind of grief you are going through have little or no idea how you are feeling or understand that horrible place you are in.
My personal advice is not to let them dictate how you should feel, if it’s possible for you to do that. The second thing is to ask for help, your GP can refer you for counselling or you can get free sessions with both Cruse and on here with Sue Ryder. It’s not going to be the total answer because you have to work at the things that need your attention and having been diagnosed with epilepsy just makes the whole thing worse.
You have had some big changes in your life all at the same time and you need time to come to terms with your life now and in the future. I now everyone on here understands the place you find yourself in and we will all be sending big hugs and blessings. Small changes is all you can ask for but the help and support you need is here for you. Take care Sxx