Losing my mum

My mum died 4 weeks ago, 5 weeks after being diagnosed with cancer. She moved in with us after her diagnosis, more to give us time to get our heads round it and work out what support she might need going forward. But we didn’t get that time.
She has always been my best friend, she was both my boys’ best friend.
How do we even begin to rebuild? Our hearts are shattered into a million pieces, she is in my brain every minute of every day. I feel like I am weirdly fixated on her.
I am the most emotional person ever, I cry at everything, all the time and yet I haven’t had a proper cry yet. I’ve cried a wee bit, but not much. I’m frightened to let go, I honestly don’t think I will be able to stop.
Everyone is dealing with their own grief and sadness about losing her, I can’t burden them with mine but it’s overwhelming me in the worst way at the moment. I’m just not sure how or where to start.
Any advice would be massively appreciated and welcome xx

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Hi @LostSmith, welcome to the community, though I am so sorry that you have had to find us and for the loss of your mum. You’re not alone.

I’m sure someone will be by to offer their support soon, but I wanted to share some of our resources which might help you to understand what you’re going through and how to get through it. It sounds like your mum’s loss happened so quickly after her diagnosis that it must have been a shock.

Our Bereavement support pages have lots of information on what to expect, though everyone is very different. Our recently launched Grief Self-Help Service provides articles and interactive tools to help you cope with grief. Some people have said that journalling has been helpful to them to help them make sense of how they’re feeling, when things are so very overwhelming.

I really hope you find the support of the community helpful, please do keep reaching out to us here.

Take care

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Hi @LostSmith

I am so very sorry for the loss of your Mum and for everything you are going through.

It must have been a real shock to lose her so quickly after her diagnosis. You are still in the very early stages of grief so everything you are feeling is normal.

I lost my Dad very suddenly after he fell and hit his head 19 weeks ago so can some what relate.

I understand how emotional it all is and I understand you are trying to be some what strong for your boys but in order for you to be able to help them, you need to help yourself too. Cry whenever you need to, it is the best release you will have and have no shame in it. I cried almost everyday for weeks and still have the occasional day where it hits without notice.

I also understand how talking to your friends and family who are going through it is hard too. That is why I joined this community as I find talking to strangers about my feelings easier as you don’t get the sympathy looks or ‘you need to find a way to move on’ comments.

Some people say time heals…I don’t think it does but you find a way to live with it. I find writing down my feelings very therapeutic and going for long walks.

Please keep reaching out and private message me if I can help in anyway!

Sending you lots of love, look after yourself,